IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that artificial intelligence (AI) has the power to improve our lives. However, others are worried that it could have a negative impact. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Many People assume that artificial intelligence can change our lives positively,
while
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 others believe that it
wil
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will
 give harmful influences to us in many areas.
This
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 essay will discuss
about
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apply
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both views and share my opinion about the issues. On the one hand, AI can do our daily
works
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work
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, which
are
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is
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 simple and repeated
everyday
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every day
,
hence
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 we can spend our
time
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 more efficiently.
For example
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, in the past, many workers spent their
time
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 to copy to paste data
to excel
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into Excel
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 to
organize
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organise
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 sales information.
However
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, if we use
automation
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an automation
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 AI system at workplace, the system can save our
time
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 and give chance to put our effort and
time
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to
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into
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 essential tasks,
such
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 as planning.
Moreover
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, using AI could help make logical decisions instantly, without any delaying of research or
analysing
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analysis
 by ourselves.
On the other hand
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, there are lots of concerns to apply AI to our
life
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lives
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. One of the main reasons is that AI can replace our job from us, which
lead
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leads
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 to enormous economic
crisises
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crises
. Nowadays, many designers and developers
got
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have been
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 fired from their companies
,
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apply
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due to
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substitution
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the substitution
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 of AI.
Furthermore
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, using AI require huge amount of water, which is used for cooling the main server. Many researches has seen that AI need more than 1L of clean water for processing 1 logical question. In conclusion, AI is one of the most controversial issues
thesedays
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these days
, because of its positive and negative impact on our lives. In my opinion, I believe AI could give more advantages,
while
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 we should not overlook its drawbacks. We can use
this
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 technology positively, provided that
fully
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we fully
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 consider
envrionmental
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environmental
 sustainability and right of
workplace
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the workplace
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.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Your view is clear, but it needs a bit more support.
task response
Add one more clear idea for each side, or explain your main ideas more.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and easy to trust.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are good, but some sentences are hard to follow. Make each idea connect more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Check if each body paragraph has one main point and full support.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraphing.
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