IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Traditional music is being lost as more and more people listen to international artists. What are the advantages and disadvantages of preserving traditional music?

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To
this
Linking Words
 days traditional
music
Use synonyms
 is low popular and lost from charts , and nowadays people starts listen international artists. We have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 question, like advantages and disadvantages, and we will start with
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
 things of saving traditional
music
Use synonyms
. On one hand, traditional
music
Use synonyms
 have a understandable lyrics,
while
Linking Words
 international
music
Use synonyms
 sometimes
not
Verb problem
does not
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, traditional
music
Use synonyms
 is likely
make
Verb problem
to make
show examples
 more sense and
came
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 from our grandparents kinda property.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have a
disadvantages
Correct word choice
disadvantageous
show examples
 side.
In
Change preposition
Additionally
show examples
additionally
Linking Words
, traditional
music
Use synonyms
 will
boring
Verb problem
be boring
show examples
 if you listen
on
Change preposition
to it on
show examples
 a regular basis.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 generation can not understand traditional
music
Use synonyms
 and
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
interesting
Replace the word
interested
, because they will have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new artists and
music
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Write more about the good side and the bad side.
coherence and cohesion
Add one clear ending sentence to finish your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like First, Also, On the other hand, and In conclusion.
task response
Give one small example for each main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Do not only state them.
task response
You answered both the good side and the bad side.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start and two body parts.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like On one hand and On the other hand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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