Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The unemployment crisis across various countries shows alarming trends. Fortunately, many countries provide government
benefits
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to the unemployed, particularly those who have been in
such
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an unfortunate situation for a long
period
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of time.
This
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essay will discuss why
job
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seekers who have been unemployed for a significant
period
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perform voluntary
work
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instead
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of receiving government
benefits
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, as a means to contribute to society.
Firstly
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, the unemployed population may view
such
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benefits
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as a means to be lazy. Unemployment over a substantial
period
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might demotivate an individual, and these
benefits
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might be considered as a shortcut to personal financial growth, as they might not have to make an effort to find a
job
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or build a career.
For example
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, if a government promises its residents financial and non-financial
benefits
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, people might not make an effort to
work
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or conduct business.
Such
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a measure might lead to business losses and might unintentionally encourage the residents to commit crimes.
On the contrary
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, if unemployed individuals volunteered until they found a
job
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, they would positively contribute to the community. Volunteering is one of the best ways to improve skills, network with like-minded folks, and give back to the community.
For instance
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, volunteering at hospitals or community centres could help patients and children
while
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one makes an active effort to improve one's abilities.
This
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could
also
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be considered a route to employment, as it's a fabulous opportunity to
work
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alongside high-level executives who take part in
such
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activities,
while
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showing your skills and personality in practice.
Hence
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, I believe volunteering is a great way to give back to the people. To summarise, the unemployed may take unfair advantage of governmental
benefits
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if they have been struggling to find a
job
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for a long
period
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. I would recommend they perform volunteer
work
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instead
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, as
this
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would allow the society to benefit from their knowledge, skills, and talent.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say if people should be made to do work, and explain why.
task response
Use more direct ideas. Some parts talk about crime and business loss, but this link is not fully clear.
task response
Give one or two more clear examples. Make them more real and more exact.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea in each body paragraph very clear at the start.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simpler way. Some sentences are long and may confuse the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use pronouns and link words carefully so each idea connects well to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph plan that is easy to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the essay.
task response
You include examples of volunteer work, like hospitals and community centres.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Long-term job seekers
  • Government benefits
  • Voluntary work
  • Community service
  • Employability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Mental health
  • Stigma
  • Unemployed
  • Public funds
  • Positively impact
  • Community
  • Exploit
  • Vulnerable individuals
  • Devalue
  • Volunteerism
  • Informal contributions
  • Skill-matching
  • Beneficial and fulfilling
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