Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Some believe that individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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receive government benefits during long periods of unemployment
,
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apply
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must perform voluntary
work
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so that they contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
,
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apply
show examples
meaningfully. In
this
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essay, I will explain
reasons
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the reasons
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why I agree with
this
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belief.
Body · 1
Volunteering could involve tasks that help these people develop soft skills,
such
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as collaboration, critical thinking and problem solving. These could be a great asset,
in addition
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to the technical skills they might
gave
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have
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gained through their formal education.
Additionally
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, it is considered to be one of the best ways to network with peers with similar interests.
This
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could help them become a part of a community, ready to assist and guide them through their job hunt, by sharing practical advice and
work
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-based insights.
Body · 2
Moreover
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, being unemployed for a long time could affect their mental health. They might feel insecure about their abilities and may feel like they failed in life because of their inability to financially sustain themselves. Volunteering could be a great motivator that provides them with an opportunity to improve their self-esteem and confidence.
Also
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, there is a good possibility that some of these citizens, who are
lazy
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lazy,
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might stop looking for employment because they believe they can sustain themselves with the benefits they receive.
Therefore
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, some might argue that volunteer
work
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could help put their skills to good use.
Body · 3
Admittedly, some might argue that
such
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residents must not be forced to take up volunteer job opportunities because these are mostly unpaid, and
such
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individuals might need more financial aid to cover their expenses
due to
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growing inflation.
However
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, the advantages of mandating volunteering
work
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seem to outweigh its disadvantages.
Conclusion
To summarise, I believe that the government must mandate that long-term job seekers
must
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apply
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engage in volunteer
work
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.
This
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would not only help the country grow, but
also
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would clear their self-doubt
,
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and
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improve their self-worth in the community.

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task response
Give one clear real example to support your ideas.
task response
Explain your main ideas a bit more so the reader can see how and why they are true.
task response
Be careful with some ideas that sound too general, like saying unemployed people are lazy.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way and avoid too many commas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence flow, because a few parts are hard to follow.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
task response
You include both sides and then give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are grouped in a logical order.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Long-term job seekers
  • Government benefits
  • Voluntary work
  • Community service
  • Employability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Mental health
  • Stigma
  • Unemployed
  • Public funds
  • Positively impact
  • Community
  • Exploit
  • Vulnerable individuals
  • Devalue
  • Volunteerism
  • Informal contributions
  • Skill-matching
  • Beneficial and fulfilling
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