IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more students are choosing to study at college and universities in a foreign country.Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

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In
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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, foreign study has become one of the most popular options for many adolescents. It is noticeable that the number of students
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
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 to study abroad
than
Correct word choice
rather than
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 in their own nation increases every year. From my perspective, the advantages of studying in
Linking Words
further
Correct word choice
other
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 countries outweigh the disadvantages. The pro of development is that the tertiary education in
another
Correct determiner usage
other
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 countries is becoming the most popular
tend
Use the right word
trend
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 among youngsters. One of the main reasons why students choose
this
Linking Words
 program is that they must get a wide range of opportunities and higher job demands.
Moreover
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, the adult possesses an international degree and expertise
significantly
Correct pronoun usage
, which significantly
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 their professional chances. Numerous high-quality educations constitute contemporary teaching methods, improved facilities and a diverse range of academic programs
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are highly beneficial.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, studying overseas has
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
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 advantages for individuals without living
in
Change preposition
with
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 family and relatives
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as independence and self-confidence that are vital for self-control and personal progress. On the downside, there are
also
Linking Words
 a few drawbacks. The most common problem is homesickness and cultural shock, which can make challenges for scholars to adapt
new lifestyle carrier
Correct word order
to a new lifestyle
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.
Consequently
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, some youths
Linking Words
also may get
Correct word order
may also experience
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 stress and pressure to
take effect
Verb problem
pursue
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 their studies and professional jobs.
Moreover
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, worldwide education costs tuition
frees
Use the right word
fees
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, travel expenditures
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 living expenses can be exorbitant for ordinary families, causing them a lot of
challenging
Replace the word
challenges
. In conclusion,
although
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further
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 study may present emotional burden and social difficulties, these limitations are often short-lived and outweighed by the long-term benefits of their future life carriers.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points in each body part.
task response
Add one or two clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Some points are good, but they need more explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. But some sentences do not link well.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words correctly, like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear main idea in each paragraph and support it step by step.
task response
You answered both sides and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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