IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

International tourism harms local cultures.Discuss both views.

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Nowadays,
tourism
Use synonyms
 impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
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many fields like
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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, cultural
changing
Replace the word
changes,
 and on developments of countries. Many residents claim that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
international
tourism
Use synonyms
 harms traditional cultures. I partly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, as some small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 only focus to attract tourists.
However
Linking Words
, global interaction allows
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 population to make money and spread rituals around the world.
Important
Correct article usage
The important
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 thing is
local
Correct word choice
that local
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 populations
organize
Change the spelling
organise
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 festivals, demonstrate their history and customs only in hotels,
hystorical landmakers
Correct your spelling
historical landmarks
 or in
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
 areas.
For instance
Linking Words
, they make traditional dance with cultural attire in front of guests, but
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 do not use it in their real life. It cause to lose meaning of traditions among residents. In my opinion, making rituals a part of daily rotine help both
inspiring
Wrong verb form
inspire
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 tourists and keep
significance
Correct article usage
the significance
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 of traditions.
In addition
Linking Words
,
inhabitant
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inhabitants
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 try to capture
attention
Correct article usage
the attention
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visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
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 because
of
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apply
show examples
they want to generate income
by
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from
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 their cultural items. Foreigners like
capture
Verb problem
to capture
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 their travel by countries' objects.
This
Linking Words
inspire
Correct subject-verb agreement
inspires
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 people to explore and learn their culture deeply.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 leads to
expand
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the expansion of
 culture
over
Change preposition
around
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 the world.
Traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
Travellers
show examples
 care
non-native
Change preposition
about non-native
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 things in their own country and share knowledge of rituals of other
cyties
Correct your spelling
cities
 with citizens. It is one of the way being popular. In
summarise
Replace the word
summary
, I partly disagree with the
tourism
Use synonyms
demage
Replace the word
damaging
 local cultures. Observing the
traditons
Correct your spelling
traditions
 by
indegenous
Correct your spelling
indigenous
 can support not only in
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
 them but
also
Linking Words
 in
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 them popular.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. You say you partly disagree, but you need to explain the other side in a more full way.
task response
Give one or two more clear examples. Your dance example is useful, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main ideas easier to follow. Put one clear idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'As a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Check how each sentence connects to the next one. Some parts feel sudden or not fully joined.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
You discuss harm to culture and also the good side of tourism.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has basic paragraphing, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • local culture
  • traditional way of life
  • custom and belief
  • lose its meaning
  • copy foreign habits
  • cultural identity
  • old buildings
  • local crafts
  • tourist show
  • community life
  • protect heritage
  • bring money
  • keep control
  • sacred place
  • harmful effect
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