The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

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The given diagram illustrates
key
Correct article usage
the key
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process of producing
sugar
Use synonyms
from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process is divided into harvesting, crushing and making. At
first,
Linking Words
farmers grow
sugar
Use synonyms
canes on land for 12-18 months, before harvesting by
trackors
Use the right word
tractors
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or by
hands
Check wording
hand
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, crushing machines can make
sugar
Use synonyms
cane into
juice
Use synonyms
. After that, the
juice
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from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane
purified
Verb problem
is purified
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by a limestone filter.
Next,
Linking Words
Filtered
Fix capitalization
filtered
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juice
Use synonyms
is put into the pot with
vent
Correct article usage
a vent
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at the top and heated. At that time,
Use synonyms
juice
Correct article usage
the juice
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become
Wrong verb form
became
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syrup
due to
Linking Words
evaporating
Replace the word
evaporation
.
Centrifuing
Correct your spelling
Centrifuging
the syrup
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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to
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals from that. Drying and cooling,
finally
Linking Words
, make it
sugar
Use synonyms
from
this
Linking Words
complete
courses
Fix the agreement mistake
course
show examples
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • manufacturing process
  • cleaning
  • sanitation
  • quality control
  • crushing
  • extracted juice
  • boiling
  • concentrated syrup
  • crystallization
  • sugar crystals
  • separation
  • molasses
  • purity
  • quality
  • food processing
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