IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where revelant.

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The depicted bar graph delineates the information about the final evaluation on the basis
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 ate in fast food restaurants or other fast food places during the
year
Use synonyms
 of 2003 to 2013. The
overall
Linking Words
 summary of the given graph quite
vivdly
Correct your spelling
vividly
 illustrates that mostly the percentages of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 points are the same with not that much
difference
Punctuation problem
difference,
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is shown in the category which people ate
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 times a
year
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 showed almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 percentages in
year
Use synonyms
 2006 and 2013. In
detail
Punctuation problem
detail,
show examples
 as we
scrutiunize
Correct your spelling
scrutinise
 the given
graph
Punctuation problem
graph,
show examples
 it demonstrates that in
everyday
Correct article usage
the everyday
show examples
category
Punctuation problem
category,
show examples
 2003 percentage is higher than other but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if we check the other section
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is several times a
week
Punctuation problem
week,
show examples
 the percentage ratio of 2006 exceeds the other two years
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 20.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if we continue to evaluate
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
once a month sector 2003 and 2013
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 higher
value
Check wording
values
show examples
 than 2006. If we
summerize
Correct your spelling
summarise
 all the data given within the
diagram
Punctuation problem
diagram,
show examples
 we reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the final conclusion that
year
Use synonyms
 2006
almost remains
Correct word order
remains almost
show examples
 the same in many instances and rarely
gown down
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 could be because of some governmental issues
increasing
Punctuation problem
, increasing
show examples
 work hours
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 other factors
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may lead
in
Change preposition
to the rise in
show examples
 the rising of percentage mostly in 2006.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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