At school, children should either be taught to compete or to cooperate. In your opinion, which form of education would best benefit society as a whole? Describe both sides of the argument and explain your own opinion.

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In
this
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modern world.
it
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It
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is suggested
,
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apply
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that schoolers
,
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apply
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must contend with one another rather than
team work
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work as a team
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.In my opinion i think working together is beneficial because it enables pupils to improve communication skills.
This
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essay will discuss both views .
To begin
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with, working together as a team, helps students to develop, their communication skills, learning new ideas, sharing opinions, and it makes them to work more efficiently and effectively.
For example
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, doing the school work
,
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apply
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as a group will allow pupils to share their notions. And the ability to ask questions
,
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apply
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were
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when
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they are not clear.
participating
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Participating
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in school
activites
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activities
as a group
,
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apply
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enables learners to gain confidence ,
improves
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improve
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their freedom of expression and paves a way for them to value their
friends
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friends'
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efforts. Inasmuch as teamwork is
advantageous
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advantageous,
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we cannot overlook the competitive side.In the following paragraph,
i
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I
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am going to talk about the merits of competition in learning institutions.
Secondly
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, in
this
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paragraph
i
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I
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am going to
ellaborate
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elaborate
more
to
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on
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why
contending
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competing
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in schools is crucial in today's world.
contesting
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Contesting
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with
oneanother
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one another
helps children to learn to stand
-
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apply
show examples
up for themselves.
For instance
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, giving
presentation
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a presentation
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individually
makes the
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helps
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students
to build-up
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build
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their self-esteem.Competition prevents bullying in schools, shyness, inferiority complex
and
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, and
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it prepares them for the future. Contending
,
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apply
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also
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enables people to develop public speaking abilities. To illustrate, nowadays ,individuals are afraid to stand in front of a large audience,
due to
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lack
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a lack
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of experience.
To sum up
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,doing teamwork is essential because
allows
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it allows
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students to appreciate and value other
peoples
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people's
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opinions.
inasmuch
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Inasmuch
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as
this
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is important , we cannot avoid the fact that
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
in schools is
also
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crucial,
due to
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building up of ones self-esteem.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. You talk about both sides, but your own view should be stronger from start to end.
task response
Give more direct ideas on how competition helps society as a whole, not only the student.
task response
Use clearer and more real examples. Some examples are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple but correct way, like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating lines like 'in this paragraph I am going to talk about'. Go straight to the idea.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, like for example and to sum up.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • competition
  • cooperation
  • ambition
  • achievement
  • motivation
  • excellence
  • job market
  • innovation
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • social skills
  • emotional intelligence
  • interpersonal relationships
  • empathy
  • harmonious
  • supportive learning environment
  • mental health
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