IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Use synonyms
Health
Correct article usage
The health
show examples
 service is of utmost importance for all
countries
Use synonyms
. It is
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason
I
Correct word choice
that I
show examples
believe
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 must be provided to the people of all nations at zero cost, regardless of the availability of
high-priced
Punctuation problem
high-priced,
show examples
 latest medical
treatments
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many less-developed
countries
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 and some developing
countries
Use synonyms
 do not have
access
Use synonyms
 to basic
health
Use synonyms
amenities
Use synonyms
by
Verb problem
provided by
show examples
 their government.
This
Linking Words
 might
either
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
be
due
Linking Words
to
Correct word choice
either to
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of infrastructure or
because of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their remote location.
Access
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 to medical
services
Use synonyms
 at no
would
Check wording
cost would
show examples
 allow many people to have
access
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 to
low priced
Correct your spelling
low-priced
 basic medical
amenities
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such
Linking Words
 as general
health
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 or dental check-ups, if not for expensive recent medical
treatments
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such
Linking Words
 as HIV and cancer
treatments
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. I think
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 the bare minimum that the
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 of these
countries
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 could do for their residents, who are promised benefits and infrastructure in exchange for taxes. The existence of corruption is another reason. People across the world pay huge amounts of taxes to their respective governments.
However
Linking Words
, greedy politicians make use of the hard-earned money of the common man for their own benefits
instead
Linking Words
 of providing basic facilities
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals, roads and schools. Providing
health
Use synonyms
services
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 at no cost would be a small but impactful step forward towards reducing corruption.
Such
Linking Words
 a measure would force the government to reallocate its human and financial resources to provide medical
amenities
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 for free. To summarise, free medical
services
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 might not provide
access
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 to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 medical
treatments
Use synonyms
 that are costly, but
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 would provide residents of every country
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic medical
amenities
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 acting as a subtle action to fight corruption. It
for
Verb problem
is for
show examples
 these reasons I believe that every individual across the world deserves free
access
Use synonyms
 to medical
services
Use synonyms
.

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task response
State your main view in a more exact way. Say if you fully agree or agree only in part.
task response
Add one clear real example to support each main point.
task response
Explain your ideas more deeply. Some points are good, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. Some sentences feel hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check missing words and small grammar errors, because they make meaning less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one strong reason and develop it fully.
task response
You answer the topic and keep the same position from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
The main ideas are relevant to public health and government duty.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic health care
  • free public health service
  • medical treatment
  • latest treatment
  • too expensive
  • save lives
  • see a doctor
  • early treatment
  • hospital bill
  • fall into debt
  • rich and poor
  • fair system
  • public money
  • limited budget
  • emergency care
  • common illness
  • serious disease
  • old people
  • drug company
  • lower the cost
  • make treatment available
  • help a larger number of people
  • to a large extent
  • in my view
  • for example
  • as a result
  • on the one hand
  • on the other hand
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