Taking risks in both professional and personal life is important. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, many people think that taking
risks
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in both professional and personal
life
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plays a pivotal role
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while
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in
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shaping
individual's
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an individual's
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life
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predictions. In
this
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essay,
merits
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the merits
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and demerits of
this
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situation will be explained based on logical reasoning. On the one hand, taking
risks
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can open
vast
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a vast
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array of opportunities to people.
Thus
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, they can obtain cutting-edge practical skills
and
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, and
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those skills can transform their
life
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to a completely different condition. Despite the failings in the
risks
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people took, individuals can learn from mistakes
and
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, and
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this
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could lead to unforeseen
the
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apply
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future crises. If a hiker,
for example
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, could not reach the peak, they can gain a valuable experience
and
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, and
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in the next trial, they can approach obstacles from a different perspective to succeed.
Consequently
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, risk is vital to reach goals in the long run.
On the other hand
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, some kinds of
risks
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may lead to irreversible consequences, especially
risks
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taken
in particular
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categories,
such
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as health, relational values, and personal relationships. In these types of situations, it can be arduous to mitigate negative outcomes resulting from the
risks
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taken. In a friendship bond,
for example
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, even the smallest risk
like
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, like
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pranks
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pranks,
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can lead to serious problems.
To conclude
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, if we take everything into account,
although
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the downsides of taking
risks
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have serious drawbacks, it is essential to take
risks
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for new opportunities and obtain valuable
life
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experiences.

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task response
Make your answer more direct. Say clearly if the good points are more than the bad points in the first part.
task response
Add one more clear example for work or personal life. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain your main idea a bit more in each body part. Some points are good, but they need more support.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Sometimes the flow is a little hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same idea in each paragraph. Do not move too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each example fits the main point very clearly.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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