The bar chart shows tourists from 5 different countries using 3 types of vehicles : cars, air and coach

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The bar chart depicts the usage of four different means of transport that were used by visitors from 5 countries.
Overall
Linking Words
,
British
Use synonyms
tourists used private cars during their journeys,
while
Linking Words
Australian visitors showed the lowest trend among other countries.
To begin
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with, Australians represented the smallest group of air passengers, constituting only 10% of the total.
On the other hand
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, tourists from Japan demonstrated the highest proportion, representing 55%.
British
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tourists made up 34%,
while
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Germans accounted for 21% and Koreans 30%. Using coaches was not prevalent
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
both
British
Use synonyms
and German users accounted for 20%. Whilst Australians made up the lowest rate , constituting 9%, and Koreans made up 40%. On the one hand, using a private car showed its dominance in every country, starting with
British
Use synonyms
individuals who accounted for the highest trends, representing 60%,
whereas
Linking Words
both Japanese and German people made up 50%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, both
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
and Korean individuals made up the same proportions in the usage of
ferry
Correct article usage
the ferry
show examples
, accounting for 10%. Germans used
ferry
Correct article usage
the ferry
show examples
relatively more, constituting 48%,
while
Linking Words
Australians accounted for 12%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words british with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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