IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

All cars that burn fossil fuel should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

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Fossil fuel
cars
Use synonyms
 emit carbon waste and are one of the largest known causes contributing to the global warming crisis.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree that a shift towards electric
cars
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 is a good alternative
for
Change preposition
to
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this
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 problem. Electric
cars
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 do not make for a suitable replacement of fossil fuel
cars
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as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 the destruction of their old
batteries
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 isn’t environmentally friendly. Electric
cars
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 run on hydrogen
batteries
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 have a relatively short lifespan and
consequently
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 must be continuously replaced. The burning of these old
batteries
Use synonyms
 emits huge quantities of fumes into the atmosphere and
therefore
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 does not help combat global warming.
Although
Linking Words
 some would argue that electric
cars
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 are a more attractive
option
Punctuation problem
option,
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 as these use energy from wind or
sun
Replace the word
solar
 sources as opposed to fossil fuels
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are slowly coming to an end.
However
Linking Words
, it is questionable if there are currently enough energy generators,
such
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 as wind turbines or solar panels, to support a full transition into sustainable
cars
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.
To conclude
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, I disagree that a switch from petrol/diesel
cars
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into
Change preposition
to
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 sustainable energy-based machines is a strategic
plan
Punctuation problem
plan,
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 as
although
Linking Words
 fossil fuel
cars
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 are pernicious to the environment, electric
Use synonyms
cars
Check wording
car
show examples
batteries
Use synonyms
 make these
cars
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 not a viable solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but you should explain your ideas more fully.
task response
For task response, add one real or clear example to support each main point.
task response
For task response, be careful with facts. Some ideas about batteries are not fully clear or true.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a good start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link ideas more clearly between sentences.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the second body paragraph starts with although, but the full idea is not easy to follow.
task response
You clearly answer the question and show your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas stay on the main topic of cars and the environment.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuel cars = cars that use petrol or diesel
  • electric cars = cars that run on electricity
  • ban = stop by law
  • replace = take the place of
  • air pollution = dirty air
  • carbon emissions = gases that warm the earth
  • charging station = a place to charge an electric car
  • public transport = buses, trains, and other shared travel
  • gradual change = a slow and step-by-step change
  • cost at the start = the first price people pay
  • clean energy = power from wind, sun, or water
  • long-term benefit = a good result in the future
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