In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or mall to do their shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development?

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In every part of the world, the growth of
development
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is reaching the outskirts.
Additionally
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,
this
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development
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creates ideas for building shopping
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centers
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centres
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, which improves
people
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's access to daily essentials. And yet, these shopping
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
are about to replace local stores.
This
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essay will reveal how
this
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change will positively influence
the
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apply
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future communities.
To begin
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with, the benefits of small local
shops
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.
Verb problem
are.
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Many small local
shops
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have been
opened
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open
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before the large
businesses
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were built.
Moreover
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, small
businesses
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have become most beneficial for
people
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who live in the countryside.
For instance
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, some
people
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only want to buy just a few things, so these small
businesses
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are responding to the needs of these
people
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.
Nevertheless
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, small local
businesses
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aren’t satisfying all
customers
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' demands. Large shopping
malls
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absolutely have more customer needs than small
shops
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.
Besides
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, large shopping
malls
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have many choices for
customers
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to make
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such
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, such
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as product prices,
products
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product
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brands and
also
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product quality. Meanwhile, small local
shops
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only have
few
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a few
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choices for
customers
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to make and
the
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apply
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unstable goods prices.
In addition
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, large shopping
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centers
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centres
show examples
not only have more options than smaller
businesses
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,
they
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but they
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also
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have everything in one place,
no
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so there is no
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need to make too many stops. Large shopping
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centers
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centres
show examples
are
being interested by
Verb problem
attracting
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many
customers
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when
there’s
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there are
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sales or promotions that make many
customers
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able
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apply
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to afford products, that’s helped many
customers
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saving
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save
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money in their pockets.
Except for
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Besides catering to
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customers
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' needs, large shopping
malls
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are hiring jobs for
people
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who need jobs too
, large
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. Large
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shopping
malls
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with large areas and large working systems usually need many employees to work for them.
Furthermore
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, if
in
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apply
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the area
have
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has
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large shopping
exists
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centres
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in the town, it will
contain
Verb problem
attract
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many
people
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to
moving
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move
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to the town and make public transport more accessible. To
summarize
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summarise
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,
this
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development
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can have both positive and negative effects. But for a better future,
this
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development
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is more positive for
people
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living in the area.

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task response
Give a clearer answer in the first part. Say early if this change is mainly good or mainly bad.
task response
Add one or two simple real examples to support your ideas.
task response
Explain your main points more. Some ideas are good, but they need fuller support.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences feel sudden or not well joined.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in one paragraph. Do not mix too many points together.
task response
You answer the question and choose a side.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You include several reasons, like choice, low prices, jobs, and easy access.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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