IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Taking risks in both professional and personal life is important. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is often argued that career and private
life
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 risks that are taken by
people
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 can have both positive and negative consequences for individuals and society.
Although
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 there are certain drawbacks associated with
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 effort, there are several reasons that will be discussed in the following paragraphs. In my opinion, despite a few potential risks, the long-term benefits of taking chances in
life
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 are far more significant.
To begin
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 with, one of the primary advantages of trying something difficult and new in
life
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,
people
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 can never discover their abilities
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This
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
 is mainly because without taking chances, no one can explore their potential.
For example
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, the CEOs of big companies succeeded in their missions after facing a number of failures and rejections.
Therefore
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, it is evident that if they had not tried for their dreams, they would not have fulfilled them.
Similarly
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,
people
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should try to improve their internal
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apply
show examples
life
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 who suffer from certain
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of physical and psychological illness.
This
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 is important;
otherwise
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, they cannot rectify their health issues unless they make an effort for
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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,
such
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 as changing their diet and engaging in required physical activity. Admittedly, there are some disadvantages related to it. One possible drawback is that
people
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 do not achieve what they look for.
This
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 may lead to mental strain that can create concerns like depression.
However
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, I believe that these issues are relatively minor and can be addressed effectively through proper education and awareness.
Moreover
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, the benefits mentioned earlier are more substantial in the long run.
Consequently
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, the positive impacts clearly outweigh the drawbacks. In conclusion,
although
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 it may involve certain disadvantages, I firmly believe that the advantages are far more beneficial because they contribute to bigger achievements in professional and personal lives.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in the first body paragraph. The first sentence is hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are fine, but a few parts do not connect smoothly.
task achievement
Give one more clear example about work or personal life. Your examples are general, not very specific.
task achievement
Answer the question more directly by showing why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence grammar because some errors make your meaning less clear.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task achievement
You give both sides and you clearly state your opinion.
task achievement
Your essay stays on the topic all the way.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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