Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion And examples from your own experience.

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Art
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comes in many different forms
,
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;
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it can be viewed differently from different aspects. As individuals believe that, having
Art
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involved in the growing phases of a child's life is crucial as it makes their mental Growth. So,
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According
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according
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to me, I strongly
Agree
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agree
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with
this
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Statement because
Art
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in many forms should be included in the everyday life of
Children
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To start with, I believe that
Art
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subjects
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should be included so that
Children
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can
evolve
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develop
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their creative side
which
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, which
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is in every living being,
And
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and
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if an
Art
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subject is
also
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available there in the
schools
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schools,
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it will help them to know about their likes and dislikes.
Also
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, Education not only comes with books but
also
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with curricular activities.
Secondly
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, if the Government includes
Art
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subjects
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as part of the education system. It will be a huge step for their future as they will not only be learning but learning about themselves,
children
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will try to know about different acitivities and they will be able to try that
also
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. During my Childhood, there was
also
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a debate among parents and schools about whether the
children
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should
having
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have
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extra
subjects
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according to
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their
liking
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liking,
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whether it was extra language, Painting or many more. So,
i
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I
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got the same chance
also
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and
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, and
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I chose the extra Dance class. And there
i
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I
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got to experience a whole lot
new
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of new
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talent
of
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in
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myself which I did not
knew
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know
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was in there
from
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for
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so long. That being said , I must say till today whenever I feel like myself
i
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I
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try to practice new Dance steps
and
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, and
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it keeps me
energized
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energised
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also
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. In conclusion,
Government
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the government
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should include
Art
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Subjects
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such
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as music, Acting and writing because it will be great for the well-being of the
children
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and for their future
also
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.
Also
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, I have some personal experiences in the same field,
So
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so
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I urge for it to happen.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you agree and why.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain how art helps children learn, think, and grow.
task response
Use one or two clear examples for each main point, not only one personal story.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences simple and clear at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences are too long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Group similar ideas together. Do not repeat the same point about growth many times.
task response
You gave a clear opinion and stayed on the same side in the whole essay.
task response
You included your own experience, which fits the question well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Basic link words like 'To start with', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' help the reader follow your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Curricula
  • Foster creativity
  • Emotional development
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global citizenship
  • Historical perspectives
  • Enhance academic performance
  • Communication
  • Employability
  • Soft skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Mental health
  • Stress reduction
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Diverse cultures
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Self-expression
  • Holistic education
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