IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this problem? What actions can be taken to solve this problem?

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In many countries
whole the
Correct word order
, the whole
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 world
concerned
Verb problem
is concerned
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 about the traffic jam
problem
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.There are many reasons for
this
Linking Words
problem
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,
one
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 of them is developing
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one
Correct determiner usage
a
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 city,and everyone wants to live in a good opportunity .To solve
this
Linking Words
 kind of
problem
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,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should put limits and
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
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people
Use synonyms
 to use public
transport
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.
One
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 of the primary causes of traffic congestion is
large
Correct word choice
that large
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 cities attract
people
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they
Correct pronoun usage
, who
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 usually come for education or work.
For example
Linking Words
:in Uzbekistan from 2015 to 2025 the population had tripled,because
of
Change preposition
apply
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these roads
become
Wrong verb form
became
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 unable to handle the growing
number
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 of commuters.
Consequently
Linking Words
, buses and subways become uncomfortable for citizens,they do not fit many
people
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 ,and some skip the train and wait
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 next
one
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.The same situation with buses,it is convenient just for older
people
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 because they can sit,and
how
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 they
say
Punctuation problem
say,
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 “YOUNG
PEOPLE
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 SHOULD
SNAND
Correct your spelling
STAND
 UP AND GIVE THEIR PLACE FOR
ELDERLY
Correct article usage
THE ELDERLY
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 ”
This
Linking Words
problem
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 could be tackled by governments work.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they should buy more buses and trains. If the
number
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 of public
transport
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is
Check wording
options is
show examples
 increased,it will be more comfortable for citizens,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 will use public
transport
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 without any problems.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it will
be
Correct word order
also be
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also
Linking Words
 good
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if they add new roads.
For example
Linking Words
, in Russia, they have a toll road,
people
Use synonyms
should
Verb problem
have to
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 pay money for extra road,and they can get to their destination faster.
if
Fix capitalization
If
show examples
 it is implemented in other countries as well,I think it will be useful for everyone. In conclusion,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 each country’s government start listening
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 citizens’
Use synonyms
problem
Check wording
problems
show examples
,it will be solved. The current
problem
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 can be tackled by increasing the
number
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 of public
transport
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.
Check wording
options.
show examples
Then
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of overcrowded roads can go down .

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task response
Answer both questions more fully. Write more about why traffic grows and how each action can help.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start each paragraph with one clear point.
coherence and cohesion
Add linking words like First, Also, As a result, and However in a careful way.
task response
Give examples that are simple and directly connected to traffic in cities.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence supports the main point of the paragraph.
task response
You answered both parts of the question: causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used some examples from real places, like Uzbekistan and Russia.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urbanization
  • car ownership
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion pricing
  • population growth
  • commute
  • sustainable transport
  • traffic management
  • ride-sharing
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