Rich countries are getting richer whereas poor countries are getting poorer. What is the reason? what can be done to rectify this?

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Some of the rich
countries
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are making a fortune
,
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;
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however
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, poor
countries
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are undergoing financial troubles. The reasoning behind
this
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cause is a lack of natural or man-made resources , which could draw the attention of the global market for investing purposes, and
this
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could be resolved if the
countries
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provide incentives like tax
,
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and
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labour to foreign
companies
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to invest in the local market. Some poor
nations
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don't have the means to compete with prospering
nations
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, like
countries
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in Africa
do
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, which do
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not have natural minerals to sell and develop their infrastructure.
As a result
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, they don't provide a competition to the Arab
nations
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in terms of development.
Also
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, the rich
countries
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do not invest in these types of
countries
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because there are no profit margins for them.
This
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is the main reasons that create inequality between the rich and poor
nations
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.
This
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could be cured if the government of an underdeveloped region starts to provide incentives to foreign
companies
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to establish their
companies
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in the country.
This
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could be of many forms, like tax, labour, subsidies, and may
also
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be in real estate.
For example
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, Canada invited the Honda company of Japan by giving them land and tax rebates to open their headquarters in Canada, and practice exporting to different
countries
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in America.
Therefore
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, inviting foreign
companies
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could lead to employment and revenue generation , which would have a positive impact on the regions
they are operating
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in which they operate
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. In conclusion, underdeveloped
nations
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might lag behind in some natural aspects
which
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, which
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put a financial burden on them, but
it
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this
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could be resolved with a responsible authority inviting firms to boost their economy.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give one main reason and one main fix, but you can add one more idea for each part.
task response
Make your reason more exact. Not all poor countries lack natural resources, so this point is too broad.
task response
Use examples that fit the point very clearly. The Canada example is useful, but an example about a poor country would be stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences jump fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph focus. Each body paragraph has a clear job, but some support is still a bit thin.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with small grammar and word form problems because they can make your meaning less clear.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use a real example to support your idea.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are easy to follow most of the time.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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