IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to educate children is by using the Internet in every lesson.’ To what extent do you share this opinion? What other ways are there of making lessons effective for children?

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In
this
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 contemporary era, the usage of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has become ubiquitous in
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 sector.The
internet
Use synonyms
 is the most significant way to teach
students
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. I largely concur with the statement as it not only provides flexibility but
also
Linking Words
 gives them numerous sources of
information
Use synonyms
. To embark on,
flexiblility
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 in the time-table of
classes
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 is an imperative reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 children's inclination towards
this
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 method of learning.
Moreover
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, there is
not any
Rephrase
no
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 restriction
over
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on
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students
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 to
attened
Wrong verb form
attend
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classes
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 at a fixed period of time. They can attend any
classs
Correct your spelling
classes
 at any time as per their convenience. To
expemplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
,
due to
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 COVID-19,
Use synonyms
education
Replace the word
educational
 institutions had shifted their mode of
classes
Use synonyms
 to online,which proved to be the best way to teach pupils without any restriction.
Due to
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 its favourable consequences, many institutions are still providing online
coures
Correct your spelling
courses
.
Consequently
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, it helps them to uplift their holistic development.
Moreover
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,the
internet
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 has vast sources of
information
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. One can get various methods to solve a particular problem
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 just one click.
In addition
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, pupils find
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is the best platform to reach globally. To
illustration
Replace the word
illustrate
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 India , most of the
students
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 get enrolled in the various online courses, where they can select their tutor around the nation.
Therefore
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, it would be
helful
Correct your spelling
helpful
 to
broden
Correct your spelling
broaden
 one's knowledge horizons in their particular field of studies by getting
information
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 throughout the globe.
Nevertheless
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, inspite of flexible schedule
as well as
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 having myriad methods of getting differnet
information
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 through
internet
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 are the benefits of making online lessons ,
however
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 another methods
such
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 as group disscussions
as well as
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 in-person
classes
Use synonyms
 of imparting
education
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 to
students
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 would not be overlooked. To encapsulate, I firmly believe that providing
education
Use synonyms
 through online
classes
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incorporated with
Wrong verb form
incorporates
show examples
 various benefits
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 in
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
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conductive
Use the right word
conducive
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 environment
Punctuation problem
,
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coupled with
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 acquiring knowledge throughout the world.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say more clearly how far you agree, and add more about other good ways to teach children, not only one short line at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear in each body part. Some ideas are hard to follow because the sentence is too long or not well joined.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences and then explain them step by step. This will help the reader follow your points more easily.
task response
Give stronger support for your ideas with simple and direct examples. Your examples are relevant, but they need clearer links to the question.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep it through most of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader.
task response
You include examples such as COVID-19 and online courses in India, which support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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