The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generation. What are the reasons for this, and How this problem be tackled.

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Nowadays,
obesity
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among
the
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apply
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people is increasing at a rapid rate throughout the globe as compared to the previous generation. There are a variety of reasons behind it, and these issues can be resolved by taking adequate steps, which will be
captivated
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discussed
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in the forthcoming paragraphs
along with
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a conclusion
at the end
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. There are tremendous reasons behind most of the public being obese these days, the foremost one is a sedentary
lifestyle
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that people live
due to
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the enhancements in the living standard since the
last
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decade, which not only stimulates them to be obese, but
also
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makes them prone to various hazardous mental and physical ailments. To cite an example, many affluent individuals who live a sedentary
lifestyle
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can be seen suffering from
obesity
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that
Correct pronoun usage
, which
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also
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invites various severe mental and physical diseases
such
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as depression, anxiety, and poor fertility.
Hence
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, the enhanced standard of living has given birth to a poor
lifestyle
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, which has stimulated
obesity
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among the public. In order to grasp the nettle of
this
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problem, various adequate steps can be taken by the higher authorities by running online awareness campaigns on social media, as most of the public use smartphones;
therefore
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, it will influence their mind more
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in contrast to
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than
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the physical campaigns.
For instance
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, most of the individuals
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, no
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no matter
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whether
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they reside in countryside areas or urban areas, use smart devices to entertain themselves on social media, particularly Instagram and Facebook. When the government
will run
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runs
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awareness campaigns on social media on
such
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platforms, the citizens will definitely get
affacted
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affected
positively.
Consequently
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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obesity
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will
get
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be
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reduced in large numbers. In conclusion,
although
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living a higher standard is good, one should never indulge in a sedentary
lifestyle
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that becomes the cause of
obesity
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, and
this
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problem can only be got rid of when the public
will be awared
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is aware
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of its negative consequences.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the cause and the fix, but each part needs more depth.
task response
Use more clear and direct ideas. Some lines are hard to follow because of long wording.
task response
Give a more real and exact example. Your example is a bit general.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words in a natural way. Some are fine, but some lines sound forced.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your meaning is easy to follow.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
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