IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Despite advancements in agricultural technology,
hunger
Use synonyms
 remains a critical issue worldwide.
This
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 essay will discuss reasons for
hunger
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such
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 as low economic levels in certain countries and rapid population growth and
then
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 argue that a comprehensive approach to
food
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 distribution, targeted economic reforms and sustainable agricultural practices are the most efficient solutions. One of the primary causes of global
hunger
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 is weak economies in several countries, particularly in developing regions. Many African nations,
for example
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, possess abundant natural resources but lack the financial infrastructure to invest in modern agricultural techniques.
As a result
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,
food
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 production remains insufficient, and widespread poverty prevents people from affording even basic necessities.
Additionally
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, rapid population growth places immense pressure on agricultural resources,
further
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 exacerbating
food
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 shortages. Urban expansion leads to the loss of farmland, reducing the capacity for local
food
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 production and worsening malnutrition. To combat
this
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 crisis, governments and international organizations must take strategic measures.
First,
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reducing
food
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 waste through better regulation of supermarkets, restaurants, and supply chains can significantly increase
food
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 availability.
For instance
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, France has implemented strict laws requiring businesses to donate unsold
food
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 rather than discard it.
Second,
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providing financial aid to small-scale farmers through subsidies and accessible loans can boost agricultural productivity and reduce dependence on large corporations.
Additionally
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, promoting sustainable farming methods
such
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 as crop rotation and precision agriculture can maximize
food
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 production
while
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 preserving natural resources. In conclusion, global
hunger
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 persists
due to
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 economic disparities and rapid population growth.
However
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, by enhancing
food
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 distribution systems, supporting small farmers, and adopting sustainable agricultural practices, societies can develop a long-term solution. Addressing
this
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 crisis requires a collective effort from governments, businesses, and individuals to ensure
food
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 security for future generations.

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task achievement
Expand on solutions with more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between points to enhance coherence. Consider using linking phrases to connect ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Variety in sentence structure could enhance readability and engagement. Try incorporating more complex sentences where appropriate.
task achievement
Strong introduction outlining the essay's focus and planned structure.
coherence and cohesion
Well-rounded conclusion that summarizes the key points and suggests a collective effort as a solution.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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