Some people believe that having too many choices in modern life makes people unhappy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The world has changed drastically in many
aspects
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, and
people
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are starting to have an unrealistic number of choices to choose from daily.
In addition
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,
people
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are starting to believe that
this
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lifestyle makes them unhappy.
Moreover
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, I partially agree with
this
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statement.
This
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essay will examine the reasons why
people
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feel unhappy with
this
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lifestyle and why some
aspects
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of it
bring’s
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bring
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them joy. On the one hand,
There
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there
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are many agreeable reasons
to
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for
show examples
this
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statement.
First,
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Having
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having
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so
much
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many
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activities can keep
people
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distracted from their
life
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lives
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.
Therefore
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, it
waste’s
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wastes
their time and makes them depressed about the time they have wasted.
Second,
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humans
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human
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brains are not built to have
thses
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these
many choices. That’s because their
ancestors
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ancestors'
show examples
lives were simpler.
Finally
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, some activities lead to addiction.
Therefore
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, the
barin
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brain
when being addicted releases chemicals that
brings
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bring
show examples
temporary joy and
then
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makes them feel guilty.
On the other hand
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, there are many positive
aspects
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to
this
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lifestyle that
makes
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make
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people
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feel happy about it.
To begin
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with, there are various things to do in
liesure
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leisure
time.
Therefore
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, it makes
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people
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people's
show examples
lives more productive and worth living.
In addition
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, some
choises
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choices
help
people
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to expand their network with others.
Consequently
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,
this
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act may help them
in
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at
show examples
work or when they want to start their own business. In conclusion, modern life has surely improved some
aspects
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.
However
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, it has the ability to depress
people
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.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say in the start if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view in the whole essay.
task response
Add one or two clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
task response
Explain each main idea more. Some points are short, so the reader cannot fully see why they are true.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each body part. This helps the reader follow your plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some words like first, second, finally are good, but the logic between ideas can be stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph order and sentence connection. A few sentences feel sudden or not fully joined to the point before.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You discuss both sides, so your essay answers the topic in a balanced way.
coherence and cohesion
Many link words are used, like on the one hand, on the other hand, first, and finally.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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