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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Advertising brings many benefits to the economy, but it also makes people dissatisfied with what they already have. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Advertisement plays an increasingly important role in modern economies.
While
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 many people believe that advertising brings significant benefits to society and the economy, others argue that it makes individuals dissatisfied with what they already possess.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before giving my own opinion. One major benefit of digital marketing is that it helps corporations attract consumers and increase sales. Through effective marketing campaigns, companies are able to promote their
products
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 more successfully and generate higher revenue.
As a result
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, many firms can expand their operations and create additional job opportunities, which contribute positively to economic growth. Another important advantage is that promotional activities encourage competition among enterprises. In order to stand out in the market, companies are often forced to improve the quality of their
products
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, offer more competitive prices, and provide better customer service.
Consequently
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, buyers can enjoy better
products
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 and a greater variety of choices. One major drawback of commercials is that they can create dissatisfaction with existing possessions. Many advertisements present
idealized
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idealised
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 lifestyles, luxury
products
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, and unrealistic standards of success, causing individuals to feel inadequate or unhappy with what they already own. Another negative effect is that publicity encourages excessive consumerism. Many people purchase unnecessary items not because they genuinely need them, but because they are influenced by persuasive marketing campaigns or social pressure.
This
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 can lead to financial stress
as well as
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 unnecessary waste. In my opinion,
although
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 product promotion encourages materialistic attitudes in some cases, consumers still have the ability to make rational decisions about their spending habits. More importantly, the economic advantages generated by commercials, particularly in terms of manufacturers’ growth and employment opportunities, are far more significant. In conclusion, promotional activities not only support economic development and encourage competition, but
also
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 have certain negative influences on consumers’ attitudes and behaviour.
Nevertheless
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, I believe their benefits outweigh the disadvantages because of the important role they play in industrial expansion and job creation.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your opinion clearly. To get a higher score, add one more clear real example for each main idea.
task response
For task response, some ideas are good but still a bit general. Try to explain how and why in a more direct way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has a clear job. To improve more, use a few more linking words with care.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your main points are supported, but some support is still broad. Add one short specific case to make the point stronger.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
For task response, your ideas are relevant and stay on the topic from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a logical order and are easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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