IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

“Social media has made people less creative and more dependent on technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

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People
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 have different views regarding the influence of social
media
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 on individuals’ lifestyles and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. I largely agree that social
media
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 has made
people
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 less creative and more dependent on
technology
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,
although
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 it
also
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 offers some useful benefits in education and communication. On the one hand, social
media
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 has negatively affected
people
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’s creativity in several ways. Nowadays, many individuals, especially young
people
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, spend hours watching short videos, scrolling through reels, and consuming ready-made entertainment.
As a result
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, they are less likely to engage in creative activities
such
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 as reading books, drawing, writing, or solving problems independently.
For example
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,
instead
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 of developing new skills or hobbies, many teenagers prefer spending their free time watching entertaining content online.
This
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 habit gradually reduces their imagination and ability to think creatively.
In addition
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, social
media
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 has made
people
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 highly dependent on
technology
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. In modern society, individuals rely on smartphones and internet-based platforms for communication, education, shopping, and entertainment. Many
people
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 find it difficult to spend even a few hours without checking their phones or social
media
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 accounts.
For instance
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, students often use online platforms not only for study purposes but
also
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 for social interaction, making
technology
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 an inseparable part of their daily routine.
However
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, it would be unfair to consider social
media
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 entirely harmful. It can be a valuable source of knowledge, as users can access educational tutorials, online courses, and informative content.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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 helps
people
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 stay connected with friends and family regardless of geographical distance. In conclusion, I strongly agree that social
media
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 has reduced
people
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’s creativity and increased their dependence on
technology
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.
Although
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 it provides certain benefits, its negative effects are more noticeable in
people
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’s daily lives.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but you can explain your ideas a bit more to show a stronger reason for your view.
task response
For task response, use more real and clear examples, not only general ones like young people or students.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, but some ideas can link more smoothly from one paragraph to the next.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you can use a few more linking words like because, therefore, and as a result, but do not use too many.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, develop one point more fully before moving to the next point.
task response
For task response, you answer the question clearly and show your opinion from the start.
task response
For task response, you discuss both the bad side and the good side, which makes your answer balanced.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to understand.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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