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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.

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The line graph provides key information about the rate of overseas visitors to three different places in a European nation, the years ranging from 1987 to 2007. The units are measured in
thousands
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the lakes had started
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
from 10
Use synonyms
thousands
Check wording
thousand
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 until got almost the highest figure
from
Change preposition
among
show examples
 other areas.
In addition
Linking Words
, the coast had a significant
Check wording
change
show examples
over the course of 20 years, from 1987 to 2007,
whereas
Linking Words
 the mountains
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remained consistent.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the
coast
Replace the word
coastal
 area
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decreased slightly
Change preposition
by
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40 , but it significantly
and it reached
Verb problem
increased to
show examples
 nearly 80 by the end of the
.
Check wording
period.
show examples
 In terms of. The mountains and the lakes,
mountains
Check wording
the number of mountains
show examples
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was the highest
number
Punctuation problem
number,
show examples
it got it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 was around 30.
However
Linking Words
, lakes were the smallest portion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
other
Check wording
others,
show examples
 which was approximately 10
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 in 1987,
then
Linking Words
 over the years substantial growth
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the peak was slightly over 70
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
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 by 2002
, afterword
Punctuation problem
. Afterwards
show examples
,
was
Correct pronoun usage
there was
show examples
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
 declined at 50
.
Check wording
thousand.
show examples

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousands with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • number of
  • areas
  • European country
  • between
  • 1987 and 2000
  • graph
  • introduce
  • overview
  • trends
  • describe
  • analyze
  • compare and contrast
  • summarize
  • main findings
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