These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games instead of sports. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, the issue of
children
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spending more time on
computer
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games
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rather than engaging in
sports
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has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public.
This
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essay aims to provide a comprehensive analysis of the primary causes of
this
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situation and discuss whether
this
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trend is a positive or negative
development
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. On the one hand, it is imperative to
recognize
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recognise
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the underlying causes of
children
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's preference for
computer
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games
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over
sports
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. A pivotal point to consider is the accessibility and attractiveness of digital entertainment.
This
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emphasizes
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emphasises
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that
computer
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games
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offer immediate enjoyment,
colorful
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colourful
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graphics, and interactive experiences that can captivate young minds far more easily than traditional
sports
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.
For example
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, one can observe that
children
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can play
games
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at home without needing special equipment or companions, making them an easily accessible form of recreation.
Moreover
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, an additional crucial aspect to highlight is the influence of modern lifestyles and technology.
This
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stems from the understanding that parents are often busy, and urban environments may lack safe spaces for outdoor activities, leading to a greater reliance on indoor entertainment like
computer
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games
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.
On the other hand
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, it is imperative to consider whether
this
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development
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is positive or negative. An important factor to examine is that excessive gaming can have detrimental effects on
children
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's health and social skills.
This
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illustrates that spending long hours in front of screens may lead to physical inactivity, obesity, and difficulties in developing teamwork or communication abilities. To exemplify
this
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perspective, one might reference studies showing a correlation between increased screen time and lower physical fitness among
children
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.
Additionally
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, it is pertinent to note that
while
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some educational
games
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can offer cognitive benefits, the majority of popular
games
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do not promote a healthy, balanced lifestyle.
This
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is substantiated by the fact that
children
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who neglect physical activities may miss out on essential experiences for their
overall
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development
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. In conclusion, an analysis of the problem of
children
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's growing preference for
computer
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games
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over
sports
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reveals that technological advances and lifestyle changes are the major causes. Ultimately,
it is clear that
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this
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trend has more negative than positive implications, as it can hinder both physical and social
development
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in
children
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.
This
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examination highlights the need for a balanced approach that encourages
children
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to participate in
sports
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alongside enjoying digital entertainment.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both questions well, but some ideas are too general. Add one more clear and real example to make your points stronger.
task response
For task response, your view is clear, but you can explain the good side of games a little more before you say it is mostly negative. This will make your answer feel more fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow because it has a clear start, body, and end. Still, some linking phrases are used too much and sound repeated. Try to use simpler and more natural links.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some topic sentences are strong, but a few sentences are long and heavy. Shorter sentences can make your meaning clearer.
task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question and give a clear opinion that this trend is negative.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant to the topic and stay focused on children, games, and sports.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
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