Today many children are overweight and suffer from obesity. Give the reasons for this and offer solutions to fix this problem.
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The world has changed
and
that includes the eating habits of most Punctuation problem
, and
children
. Today Use synonyms
many
Punctuation problem
, many
children
suffer from being overweight. Use synonyms
This
is a global health issue. Linking Words
This
essay will examine the reasons for Linking Words
this
problem and possible solutions to help fix Linking Words
this
health issue.
On the one hand , there are many reasons of chid obesity . First , Linking Words
children
like to eat Use synonyms
alot
of junk Correct your spelling
a lot
food
wich is not healthy . Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
, they love to eat fast Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
Mcdonalds
and Burger Fix capitalization
McDonald's
king
. Fix capitalization
King
This
kind of Linking Words
food
is terrible for their bodies . Second , they love to eat sweets and candies . Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
, they like to eat chocolate at Use synonyms
every
time . Correct determiner usage
any
Thats
unhealthy for their teeth Correct your spelling
That's
not
just their body . Punctuation problem
, not
Finally
, Linking Words
todaays
Correct your spelling
today's
children
are not doing any exercises . Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
, they Use synonyms
prefare
to sit sit allday on the computer and play video games rather than exercising . Correct your spelling
prefer
Also
, they spend their time Linking Words
on
watching movies and Change preposition
apply
youtube
videos without moving .
On the Fix capitalization
YouTube
another
hand , there are many solutions for child obesity . First , they have to eat less junk Correct determiner usage
other
food
if they Use synonyms
couldnt
quit it . Correct your spelling
can't
For
Linking Words
example
, parents should allow them to eat it just once a week . Use synonyms
Also
, they can switch it with more tasty and healthy Linking Words
food
. Second , they have to eat less Use synonyms
sweets
and Check wording
sugar
candies
. Check wording
sweets
Foe
Use the right word
For
example
, Use synonyms
its
better to eat honey or jam . Use the right word
it's
Also
, its more healthy to eat fruits like Linking Words
grabe
or Correct your spelling
grapes
wateremelon
. Correct your spelling
watermelon
Finally
, Linking Words
children
need more Use synonyms
exercises
. Check wording
exercise
For
Linking Words
example
, they have to go outside and Use synonyms
be running
in the parks . Wrong verb form
run
Also
, they have to meet Linking Words
another
Correct determiner usage
other
children
to play together and do Use synonyms
diffirent activeties
.
In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are several reasons responsible for the child obesity problem. Correct your spelling
different activities
However
, the good news is that there are multiple solutions to solve Linking Words
this
serious health issue.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Write more clear topic ideas at the start of each body part.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like first, second, finally, however, and as a result.
task achievement
Make each example more real and more exact.
task achievement
Explain why each reason causes obesity, not only list it.
task achievement
Check that each solution matches one reason clearly.
coherence cohesion
Group similar ideas together and avoid repeat ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task achievement
You answer both parts of the question: reasons and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your main ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
task achievement
You use examples in both body parts.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite