IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that this money should be allocated to improving living standards on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Curiosity is the innate human drive to explore and investigate the fundamentals
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the world. In the given context,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 tend to agree with the statement.
While
Linking Words
 inventions should be carried on to identify several other possible new ways, major funds should be spent on certain developments on
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 to make it more comfortable. A short amount of budget could be used to find new places not only for
raised
Correct word choice
a higher
show examples
 standard of living. There are two fundamental reasons why
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 should be fixed to enhance daily life on earth
instead
Linking Words
 of
making
Verb problem
conducting
show examples
 new
researches
Check wording
research
show examples
.
Foremost
Correct article usage
The foremost
show examples
 reason is
revolutionary
Correct word choice
that revolutionary
show examples
 inventions are only possible
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 already
present
Correct word choice
existing
show examples
 areas. Highly facilitative and comfort-providing areas are meant to provide peace and relaxation to curious
minds
Use synonyms
, work is supposed to be carried on to make
futhur
Correct your spelling
further
 developments.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are only a few
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 with inquisitive
minds
Use synonyms
.
most
Fix capitalization
Most
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is promised to make their lifestyle better than before.
For instance
Linking Words
, their mind is shaped in a way that they
born
Verb problem
are born
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 world
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
struggled
Wrong verb form
struggle
show examples
 to make their lives
better
Punctuation problem
better,
show examples
 just like their forefathers did.
their
Fix capitalization
Their
show examples
 mindset is adjusted to the efforts they
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 for better survival only if they are
priviledged
Correct your spelling
privileged
 enough.
Linking Words
conversely
Fix capitalization
Conversely
show examples
, some analytical
minds
Use synonyms
 who are curious about events happening around. They went out of their comfort zones,
for example
Linking Words
,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 which are already provided to them. Their
minds
Use synonyms
 are exploring and
om
Correct your spelling
in
 research mode.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 wanted to know about everything
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 what
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and why
is it
Correct word order
it is
show examples
 so.
Already
Punctuation problem
Already,
show examples
 a significant
work
Check wording
amount of work
show examples
 has been done on searching the space facets.
their
Fix capitalization
Their
show examples
minds
Use synonyms
 think much ahead of what they already have.
undoubtedly
Fix capitalization
Undoubtedly
show examples
, all required resources should be provided to them to keep them on track. In conclusion, we may assert that a hefty
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 should be fixed for providing a high-standard lifestyle.
However
Linking Words
, prospects should be available for the probing
minds
Use synonyms
 to quench their thirst.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give a clearer answer to the question in the first paragraph. Say if you mostly agree or partly agree, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are too general, so the reader cannot fully see why they are true.
task response
Use one or two clear and real examples. The example in your essay is too broad and does not strongly support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Some sentences do not connect well, so the meaning is hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph opening words and sentence order. A few parts feel sudden or unclear.
task response
You answer the topic and show your opinion from the start.
task response
You include both sides of the issue, which helps show range of thought.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to group ideas into separate paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: