IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to individuals and society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is frequently contended that the media’s tendency to focus more on problems and emergencies than positive news is harmful to both individuals and society.
While
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 there is undoubtedly some merit in
this
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 argument, I only partially agree with
this
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 view, as the reality is considerably more nuanced, and as negative intelligence can play an important role in enhancing cognitive function and raising public awareness. On the one hand, there is considerable evidence to support the view that excessive exposure to negative news can have harmful effects on people. One compelling reason for
this
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 is that constant reports about crime
,
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and
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 diabetes may increase stress and anxiety, which means that many individuals become more pessimistic about the world.
This
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 is clearly illustrated by people who often watch negative account denonstrating that it can seriously affect mental well-being
On the other hand
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, it is equally important to recognise that negative data is not always harmful. Proponents of
this
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 perspective argue that reporting emergencies helps people prepare for potential dangers.
Although
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this
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 argument is valid to some extent, I maintain that the media should present
such
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 information in a balanced manner rather than focusing on fear alone, given that balanced reporting can both inform the public and protect their mental health.
Consequently
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, the original assertion holds true in most, though not all, circumstances. In conclusion,
while
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 there are arguments on both sides of
this
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 debate, I believe that excessive negative news can indeed be harmful.
Nevertheless
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, the opposing view should not be completely overlooked, as it remains valid in certain situations.

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task response
Task response: Your answer gives your view, but your position is not fully clear all the time. Say your main idea in a more direct way and keep it the same from start to end.
task response
Task response: Develop your ideas more. Some points are short and general, so the reader wants more detail about why the media is harmful or useful.
task response
Task response: Use clearer examples. The essay has one weak example, and it is not explained enough.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences do not connect smoothly. Add simple linking words and make sure each sentence clearly grows from the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Support each main point better inside the paragraph. A topic sentence is good, but the next ideas need more explanation and one clear example.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion: you partly agree. This is a good start for task response.
task response
You include both sides of the topic, which shows you can see the issue in a balanced way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, and the body paragraphs are in a logical order.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which helps guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • news reports
  • media focus
  • negative news
  • positive developments
  • stress and anxiety
  • skewed perception of reality
  • world view
  • desensitization
  • pessimistic outlook
  • general public
  • mental well-being
  • proactive problem-solving
  • holistic view
  • informed decision-making
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