IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The internet is an amazing invention which has changed the world. Many people use it. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

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In
this
Linking Words
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 in many
advantage and disadvantages
Correct word order
ways with advantages and disadvantages
show examples
way
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 has changed the world
widely
Punctuation problem
, widely
show examples
 used by many
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 advantages
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 helpful
that
Correct word choice
and
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can help
people
Use synonyms
 in many
certain things
Check wording
ways
show examples
. Disadvantages may
do
Verb problem
cause
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 many
problems
Use synonyms
 that can
let
Verb problem
make
show examples
 human
life
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bad. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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people
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 in advantages
way
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, business is an
advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
way
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
 it in
internet
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it can be so helpful for
people
Use synonyms
 who need it.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, shopping online
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can solve many
problems
Use synonyms
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 ordering things from out of the country.
Secondly
Linking Words
, communication is a main thing in a
human
Check wording
human's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 it can be wonderful for
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 live far from
there
Use the right word
their
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 family.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
,
Whatsapp
Fix capitalization
WhatsApp
show examples
 is
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 app that solves many
problems
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 want to contact
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 families from
far
Correct article usage
a far
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 distance.
Finally
Linking Words
, video games
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 an entertainment that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to have fun
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 some can
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 in
disadvantages
Replace the word
disadvantageous
 ways.
Firstly
Linking Words
, bullying is everywhere
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
Linking Words
also
Correct word order
people can also
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
 it online.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 get threatened
for strangers
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by like there pictures.
Secondly
Linking Words
, hackers
many
Verb problem
have attacked many
show examples
 companies and
people
Use synonyms
 faced
problems
Use synonyms
 with a hacker,
Such
Linking Words
 as
stelling
Correct your spelling
stealing
 accounts
hacking
Correct word choice
and hacking
show examples
 a
compter
Correct your spelling
computer
 device in
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 all of the
company
Check wording
company's
show examples
 work.
Finally
Linking Words
, isolation has many bad sides that can damage a
human
Check wording
human's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
Use synonyms
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who dislikes to set in a place full of
people
Use synonyms
 or dislike
to talk
Wrong verb form
talking
show examples
 with
people
Use synonyms
face to face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
 because
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 is just sitting in a chair and
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 in a computer. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion
Punctuation problem
conclusion,
show examples
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 in
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 that can
human
Verb problem
benefit human
show examples
 society. Before you do anything in
Use synonyms
internet
Punctuation problem
internet,
show examples
 make sure from the app. .

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task response
Task response: You answer both sides: good points and bad points. This is good. But some ideas are not very clear. Try to explain each main point more simply.
task response
Task response: Your examples are on topic, like online shopping, WhatsApp, bullying, and hackers. This helps your score.
task response
Task response: Add a clearer final opinion in the end. For example, say if the internet has more good sides than bad sides.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has clear parts: introduction, good side, bad side, and conclusion. This is a good basic shape.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use shorter and clearer sentences. Some lines are hard to follow because many ideas are put in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' are used well, but sometimes they are repeated too much. Try also 'for this reason', 'because', and 'however'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some words do not connect well, so the meaning is not always easy to understand. Check word order and small grammar so your ideas flow better.
task response
You stayed on the topic all the time and wrote about both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
You gave real and easy examples, which makes your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has paragraphs, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You used simple linking words to show order in your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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