IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken tobring back a change.

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Humanity has
provoked
Verb problem
had
show examples
 a negative impact on animals and plants thanks to their activities. Some people think that the biological annihilation of some animal
species
Use synonyms
 can be changed
next
Punctuation problem
, next
show examples
 to the restoration of ecosystems and habitats destroyed by humanity.
While
Linking Words
 others think it cannot be changed and that the obliteration of some animal groups and the natural destruction is permanent. On one hand people like the ones from the company colossal thinks that animal extinction can be reversed, even if it sounds like the idea comes from Jurassic park movie series but
this
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 company has done it as they could, they have recreated as best as they could the DNA of the firewood officially reversing their extinction, they are
also
Linking Words
 planning to do the same for white rhinos, dodos and mamuts, with the biovault they are creating it is ment to conceive tissues and DNA samples of endangered
species
Use synonyms
 incase
this
Linking Words
species
Use synonyms
 ever go missing.
While
Linking Words
 other ecosystem protectors are trying to protect
nature
Use synonyms
 by protesting and possibly recreating environments to reverse their destruction.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 humanities recklessness has provoked and will continue to produce
this
Linking Words
 extinction of
nature
Use synonyms
. Being poaching one of the many ways animal
species
Use synonyms
 are being obliterated, with the expansion of
industrialization
Change the spelling
industrialisation
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 and the pollution made from
this
Linking Words
industrialization are
Wrong verb form
industrialisation being
show examples
 some of the main ways ecosystems are being destroyed. Concluding
this
Linking Words
 debate, I feel more inclined to say
this
Linking Words
 can be changed with enough determination and hard work
Punctuation problem
. Nature
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
 can and is being restored
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 the problem of animal
species
Use synonyms
 being ended are getting restarted
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 can be completely changed with enough time and the world would
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 as
Use synonyms
nature filled
Correct your spelling
nature-filled
 as it was one day.

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task response
Answer both views more clearly. Say what the first group thinks, what the second group thinks, and then give your own view in a direct way.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Some points are interesting, but they need clearer explanation and links to the question.
task response
Use examples carefully. Your examples are relevant, but some are not fully explained, so the reader is not always sure how they support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Use shorter sentences and clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple clear words like first, also, however, because, and therefore. At times your paragraph flow is hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Some sentences try to do too much at once, so the message becomes unclear.
task response
You answer the topic and give your own opinion in the conclusion.
task response
You include specific examples such as work on extinct or endangered animals.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use contrast words like on one hand and on the other hand to show two sides.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
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