IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People will buy a product if it has quality or fulfil their needs. There is no need for advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People
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 would think that
pusrchase
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the purchase
 of a
product
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 depends on the need weather it has been advertised or not.In my opinion, I agree that most of our expenditure is for something we need.
However
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,necessity is not the only reason for buying goods thats why advertising plays an important role.
Although
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 the key reason for purchasing a
product
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 or even a service comes from necessity.
However
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, there are various
of
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apply
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other reasons for buying,
for example
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;
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,
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shopping in general makes
people
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 satisfied and happy whether they need that purchase or not.
Furthermore
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, the majority of
people
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 like to experience new things by trying new products.
Moreover
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,buying things could be for gifting someone else , so it is not always limited to the individual
himself
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themselves
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. In terms of advertising, effective marketing campaigns play a vital role in
both
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apply
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whether you need the
product
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 or not.Because advertising aims to make you believe that
this
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product
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 will fulfil your need , and
that is
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 an effective trick they use to gain
people
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's interest.
Also
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,advertising could be useful when launching a new
product
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 ,because how would
i
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I
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 know about a new
product
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 if
i
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I
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 did not know that it existed. In conclusion,individual expenditure depends on a lot of reasons.
Therefore
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,advertising will always be essential and needed in society.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree or disagree in the first part, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two simple and clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
task response
Explain each main idea a little more. Some points are good, but they need more support.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your main point easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences start with 'However' or 'Because' in a way that feels awkward.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and punctuation. This will help your essay flow better and be easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
You discuss both need and advertising, so you address the main topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph structure, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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