IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that international car-free day will help in reducing fuel usage and air pollution. Others believe there is an effective alternative to this. To what extent do you agree with this opinion

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Although
Linking Words
 international
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 are believed
can
Verb problem
to
show examples
 help to reduce environmental issues, I believe that improving public transportation and enforcing stricter environmental policies are far more effective in reducing fuel consumption and
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 can reduce fuel use and
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 temporarily. They
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 help to raise public awareness and encourage other people to try alternative means of transports
such
Linking Words
 as public transport or cycling.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 effect is limited because
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 generally
lasts
Correct subject-verb agreement
last
show examples
 only for one
Use synonyms
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
 and
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not really change people's daily habits permanently.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several alternative measures that may be more effective.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should improve public transportation by making
the public transportation
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 more comfortable and reach far areas. By doing
this
Linking Words
, people can feel more comfortable
to use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 public transport, allowing them to rely less on private vehicles,
thus
Linking Words
 reducing fuel consumption and
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 impose
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stricter
emmision
Correct your spelling
emission
 regulations on private vehicles and industries, which would help reduce
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 more
consistenly
Correct your spelling
consistently
 than a one-day
car free
Correct your spelling
car-free
 campaign. In
consclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
while
Linking Words
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 have some benefits for improving the environment, their effects are limited. I believe that long-term measures,
such
Linking Words
 as improving public transport and enforcing stricter emission regulations, are more effective

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task response
Task response: You answer both sides and give your view clearly, but your ideas need more detail.
task response
Task response: Add one real or clear example to support each main point.
task response
Task response: Explain more why car-free day does not change daily life in the long run.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear intro, body, and end, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words more carefully, for example 'because', 'therefore', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are a bit repeated. Try to join ideas in a smoother way.
task response
Task response: You give a clear opinion from the start to the end.
task response
Task response: You cover both car-free day and other ways to cut pollution.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your paragraph order is clear and logical.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The conclusion matches the main idea well.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmentally friendlier alternatives
  • sustainable living
  • transportation choices
  • implementation
  • urban planning
  • non-motorized transportation
  • economic impacts
  • feasibility
  • robust public transportation systems
  • technological and policy innovations
  • smart traffic management systems
  • congestion pricing
  • incentives
  • low-emission vehicles
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • cultural shift
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