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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2006

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The given bar chart illustrates the
Use synonyms
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
people
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 visiting these three museums:
MET
Correct article usage
the MET
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,New York,
Edo-Tokyo
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, National,
China
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 , during the years from 2000 to 2006 The population is measured in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
,the national
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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China
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museum
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visitors
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 steadily increased over the years and reached the highest
amount
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 of
people
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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in contrast
Linking Words
, other museums experienced a fluctuating number of
visitors
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 during the given period. In terms of growth, the most visited
museum
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 in 2005 was the National
,
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Museum of
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China
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, which reached approximately 16
Million
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 of
people
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 as opposed to the MET,New Yourk and
Edo-Tokyo
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 who had (about 14
million
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 and 10
million
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 respectively).
However
Linking Words
,the MET,New York
museum
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 is the second highest visited
museum
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 in 2005,
while
Linking Words
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Edo-Tokyo
Correct article usage
the Edo-Tokyo
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museum
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 hit the peak in 2000 and 2001 with numerous
people
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 above 12
million
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On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest number of
visitors
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 for MET,
New
Correct article usage
the New
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 York
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museum
Punctuation problem
museum,
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 dropped significantly in 2001 and 2002 and hit a low of 6
million
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visitors
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.
nevertheless
Linking Words
,it gradually increased over the years. compared to the
Edo-Tokyo
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museum
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 in 2003, with a low of nearly the same
amount
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, and the National,
China
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 , with a slightly higher
amount
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 than 6
million
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.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, people, edo-tokyo, china, museum, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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