.Art is considered as an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is positive or negative for children to be taught art?

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In our modern society,
the
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apply
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art
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is considered to be a controversial issue,
debating
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debated
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globally.
While
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some people assume that it brings up detrimental development for children, I strongly believe that it
affects in
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has
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a positive
way
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effect
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, since the ability to express themselves and intellegence boost exist.
Firstly
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,
art
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acts
in
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as
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a
way
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form
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of science for infants
due to
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the fact that it can gradually boost the emotional and
intellegence
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intelligence
quotients
famously
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, famously
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known as "IQ" and "EQ", by enhancing their
overall
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view of
a
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the
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world.
For instance
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,
recent
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a recent
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study made by scientists demonstrates that individuals
,
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apply
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doing
art
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martials
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martial
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are recognised to show much more creativity and to perform better in
comlex
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complex
cognitive tasks.
This
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is why
art
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plays
such
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a massive role in the
foster
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fostering
of
child's
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a child's
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brain functions.
Secondly
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,
art
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might be viewed as a beneficial way to illustrate signs of self-expression and
legacy
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the legacy
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of the culture. A
plenty
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variety
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of
various
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apply
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pictures, pots, and prehistorical artifacts can be found in local museums. By visiting
such
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places,
parants
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parents
are able to encourage children to be fond of conventional buildings and traditions.
Moreover
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, they could join that part of
community
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the community
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and create
work
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works
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of
arts
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art
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, expressing themselves as
an artist
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artists
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.
That is
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why
art
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plays a massive role in the culture of the country and could beneficially affect
on
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a
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child's self-expression.
To sum up
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, I still suppose that
art
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plays an enourmous development in
child's
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a child's
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life and children should be attracted to
this
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type of science,
while
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opposed views can be seen.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each part. Say clearly why art is good for children.
task response
Add one more clear and real example to support your ideas.
task response
Explain your main ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some sentences are hard to follow because of word choice and grammar.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea and develop it step by step.
task response
You give a clear opinion that teaching art to children is positive.
task response
You include two main reasons: brain growth and self-expression.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words like Firstly, Secondly, Moreover, and To sum up help show order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expression of feelings
  • creative thinking
  • show ideas
  • cultural identity
  • learn about society
  • traditional art
  • respect other cultures
  • build confidence
  • improve focus
  • problem-solving skills
  • work with others
  • full development
  • healthy mind
  • balanced education
  • enjoy learning
  • feel proud
  • share ideas
  • use imagination
  • art education
  • positive effect
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