IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Earlier technology developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely held that older technologies have provided greater benefits to ordinary
people
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 than the new technologies emerging every day. I strongly disagree with
this
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 view, as I believe artificial intelligence and smartphones provide compelling evidence for
this
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 position. The most significant reason for my disagreement is that the rapid growth in artificial intelligence has fundamentally transformed how
people
Use synonyms
 work.
This
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 is largely because, prior to 2020, there were no accessible Large Language Models capable of enhancing individual productivity at scale. A clear example of
this
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 can be seen in India, where professionals now rely heavily on tools
such
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 as ChatGPT to streamline complex tasks.
As a consequence
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, several Indian IT firms have reported a productivity increase of nearly 50% since adopting AI-driven workflows.
This
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 clearly demonstrates that emerging technologies are reshaping the modern workplace in ways older innovations never could. Equally important is the fact that the advancement in smartphone technology has made everyday life significantly more convenient for ordinary citizens. The underlying reason is that with thousands of applications and features available on a single device, individuals can manage communication, finances, and education independently.
This
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 is well illustrated by WhatsApp, which enables users to make voice and video calls across the globe at no additional cost. The outcome has been that millions of
people
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 can now connect with anyone, anywhere in the world, without relying on expensive telecommunication services. It is
therefore
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 evident that smartphones have empowered ordinary
people
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 by granting them unprecedented independence. In conclusion, I firmly disagree that earlier technological developments have provided greater benefits to ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 than modern innovations, primarily because of the transformative impact of smartphones and the remarkable growth in artificial intelligence.

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task response
Say more about the other side. You can show why some old tools helped a lot, then explain why new tools help more now.
task response
Use one short line in the intro to answer the question in a fuller way, such as saying you disagree to a large extent.
task response
Your examples are clear, but one example about daily life outside work would make your answer more full.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. To make links even better, use a few simple words like First, Also, and For this reason.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences can be cut into two. This will make your meaning even clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea. Keep this style, and make sure each idea starts with a clear topic sentence.
task response
You answer the question clearly and keep the same view from start to end.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and well explained.
task response
The examples about AI and phones fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a strong end.
coherence and cohesion
Each part stays on one main point, so the essay is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Linking inside and between parts is smooth most of the time.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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