Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
It is said that
while
some people
think video
games
are harmless fun and can be a tool for education, some believe that video
games
can have negative effects on those who play them. I think they have equal positive and negative impacts on players.
Video
games
can have disadvantages and bring physical health problems
. These types of games
are really attractive and when someone is engaged in them, he may lose track of time. As a result
, they would spend long hours on these games
while
they gaze on a monitor and sit on a chair. This
sedentary lifestyle can damage their health and cause skeletal and eye problems
.
In addition
, many video
games
have violent content which are harmful to young people
. These contents have negative effects on teenager's behaviour, and launch them to treat at a negative way.
On the other hand
, video
games
can affect positively. For example
, learning a new language can be difficult for many people
. By using video
games
, they can easily learn a language and even more, in an attractive way. Furthermore
, considering the fast pace of life in this
modern world, people
need the ability to solve problems
quickly. Video
games
provide this
chance for them to process challenges quickly and find a better solution.
In conclusion, although
some people
think video
games
are harmless and have benefits such
as educating people
, others believe the new generation of games
have negative effects on players such
as physical health problems
. I strongly believe that by using them correctly, they have equal positive and negative impacts.Submitted by hg1984 on
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task achievement
To further enhance the task response, ensure all main points are equally developed with specific examples or evidence. For instance, provide a concrete example of how video games have specifically aided in language learning.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitional phrases are consistently used to guide the reader through the logical progression of ideas. For example, using phrases like 'Another important aspect is...' or 'In contrast to this...' can help strengthen the logical structure.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-presented. However, further strengthening the argument with more specific evidence in the body paragraphs could raise your score.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in maintaining readability and flow.
task achievement
You have balanced addressing both the positive and negative impacts of video games, which shows a fair and comprehensive view.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear standpoint, which reinforces the clarity of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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