IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people these days travel far for work or spend more hours working. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages ? What do you think about work life balance ?

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Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 people prefer working abroad to having a
job
Use synonyms
 in their hometown. Younger people
also
Linking Words
 tend to spend more hours working. I believe that it has advantages and
disadvanatges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. It all depends on
what person
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 you are. For
someone
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someone,
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 it can
has
Wrong verb form
have
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 more positives than negatives, but for
others
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others,
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 it can be completely opposite. First of all, working longer can have a lot of benefits. When you spend more time
on
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apply
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working
Punctuation problem
,
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then
Linking Words
 you get more new experiences and skills. You
also
Linking Words
 earn more money since you are working overtime. When we are talking about working abroad, it can be
really
Correct article usage
a really
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 great opportunity to gain more experience. You could
also
Linking Words
 learn or practice languages. It is
also
Linking Words
 definitely
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 idea to meet new people. Sometimes working
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
 is much more profitable than in your hometown.
Usually
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Usually,
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 the rent is cheaper and everyday expenses are inexpensive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can be
unhealty
Correct word choice
unhealthy
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 to work overtime, especially if your
job
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 is in the office or if it is IT related
job
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.
Linking Words
Also
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Also,
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 when you are working far away from home
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,
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then
Linking Words
 you can miss your family and friends. It can lead to physical and mental problems, like your
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
 can get worse, your back can hurt a lot
or
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, or
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 you can have depression or anxiety. In my opinion, if you do everything reasonably, it has more advantages. Every
job
Use synonyms
 has
own
Correct determiner usage
its own
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 positives and negatives
but
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, but
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 if you are doing it in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right way and it is something that makes it delighted
then
Linking Words
 it is definitely worth it and is a good thing for you.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. You say both good and bad points, but your view should stay clear from start to end.
task response
Add one or two real and clear examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are good, but they are short and need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some are good, like 'First of all' and 'On the other hand', but more smooth links will help.
coherence and cohesion
Group your ideas more clearly. The paragraph about working abroad has many ideas, but they can be ordered better.
task response
You answer both parts of the topic: working far from home and working long hours.
task response
Your opinion is present in the essay, especially in the last paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has four clear paragraphs, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words to show contrast and order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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