IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are a member of an International Students' club. The club is organising an event to celebrate popular food from around the world. Write a letter to the event organiser, Luis. In your letter offer to make a popular dish from your country describe what this dish is explain why it should be included in the event You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Luis,

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Dear Luis, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to request you to add my popular cuisine
in an
Change preposition
to a
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 popular
event
Use synonyms
. As a Member of an international student's club,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 want to present a famous
dish
Use synonyms
 from our country in an
event
Use synonyms
 because
this
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 cuisine has great texture and
fabulous
Verb problem
is fabulous
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 in taste.
This
Linking Words
Use synonyms
dish
Punctuation problem
dish,
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 called Maggi which made up of numerous
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of ingredients
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
:
Punctuation problem
apply
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 Handmade noodles with several types of spices and vegetables and sparkling water.
This
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 food should be
include
Wrong verb form
included
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 in the
event
Use synonyms
 because a
few
Correct word choice
small
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 number of
population
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 know about
this
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 recipe.
Moreover
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,
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This
Fix capitalization
this
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 would be the first cuisine in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 world which will present in the food
event
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 is the most
demanding
Replace the word
demanded
 in my country
due to
Linking Words
 its taste and
this
Linking Words
dish
Use synonyms
ready
Verb problem
is ready
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 within 10 minutes. Numerous
Citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 make
this
Linking Words
dish
Use synonyms
 during the festival through the ages in my country. I would be grateful if you
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 give me a chance to display my famous
dish
Use synonyms
 from my nation. Yours
Faithfully
Fix capitalization
faithfully
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, Manpreet Singh

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but some ideas are not clear. Say what the dish is in a more true and simple way.
task response
Task response: Use a more polite tone. For example, say 'I would like to offer' not 'I request you'.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put one main idea in each part. First offer the dish, then describe it, then say why it should be in the event.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Link ideas with easy words like 'also', 'because', 'so', and 'for example'.
task response
Task response: You cover the three bullet points in the letter.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start and end, with greeting and closing.
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