*Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much as noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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In recent years, there has been an ongoing debate regarding the issue of
noise
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pollution in public society. A group of individuals believe there should be some strict controls
about
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on
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noise
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.
However
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, others believe that they could just make as much
noise
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as they want.
Therefore
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, before stating my
opinion
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, both views will be discussed
further
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. I would like to shed light on both viewpoints. Examining the former
opinion
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, the primary argument the supporters would forward is that
noise
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pollution
also
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has detrimental effects on human health and quality of life. The reason is that it has harmful impacts on people's well-being.
For example
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, cannot sleep at night
due to
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intrusive sounds from nearby industrial zones, leading to a deterioration in their mental and physical health.
In addition
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, they
also
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believe that productivity may be reduced
as a consequence
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of
noise
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, which can prevent them from fully concentrating on their tasks because of the constant
noise
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from vehicles in the street.
On the contrary
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, those in favour of the latter
opinion
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have their own arguments.
To begin
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with, they claim that there are several reasons why some people need to carefully create
noise
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outside.
Furthermore
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, many individuals feel more comfortable and free when they can express themselves loudly during work or entertainment activities.
For instance
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,
this
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can be a great way to reduce stress after a long day and recharge energy.
Moreover
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,
noise
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is often viewed as a part of the industrialisation and modernisation process.
This
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is because in urban regions, sounds from traffic
noise
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and engine
noise
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seems
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seem
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to be familiar to urban citizens, which encourages humans to be more practical in their work and studies.
To conclude
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, there are convincing arguments both for and against the creation of a noisy environment. It is a double-edged sword, offering immense opportunities for learning
while
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also
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presenting significant challenges.
However
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, I certainly favour the former
opinion
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.

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task response
Answer both views more fully. Your view is clear at the end, but you should explain why you agree with strict control in a stronger way.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and full. Some examples are too general and need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each main idea focused. In one part, you move from health to work too fast, so the point is not fully built.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a more natural way. Some link words are used well, but a few feel long or not needed.
task response
Check sentence meaning carefully. A few lines are hard to follow, such as the idea that noise helps people study better.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your opinion, so you answer the main task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like 'however', 'for example', and 'to conclude' to guide the reader.
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