IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Nowadays, most people argue that scientific
experiments
Use synonyms
 on
animals
Use synonyms
 should be
illeagal
Correct your spelling
illegal
,
while
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that it
shouldnt
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shouldn't
 be a problem
, i
Punctuation problem
. I
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 highly agree with their opinion, as
i
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I
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 think it should be illegal.
on
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On
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 one
hand
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hand,
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 people argue that scientific
expierments
Correct your spelling
experiments
 on
animals
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 aren't harmful, and that
its
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it's
show examples
 better for
society
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 as they could easily test or find cures or medicines on these
animals
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 to get significantly better discoveries.
on the other hand
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 people believe that its harmful and bad for the
society
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 as these
animals
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 have their own life and feelings,
moreover
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 they believe it can lead to the extinction of
animals
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, studies have shown that most
animals
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 go extinct because of multiple failed
experiments
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,
furthermore
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 some of these expierments could lead into new viruses
for instance
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 hantavirus , which was later found out it was because of failed
experiments
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 on rats.
However
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, these
experiments
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 can be justified,
for
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instance
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instance,
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 they could use sick
animals
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 or
animals
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 that are barely living; in that case ,
i
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I
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 believe it can be justified, as it could be beneficial for
society
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 , since there are no other alternatives
experimenting
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. Experimenting
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 on sick
animals
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 should be legal.
in
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In
show examples
 conclusion i believe
that
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apply
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that
overall
Linking Words
 scientific
researches
Replace the word
research
 on
animals
Use synonyms
shouldnt
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shouldn't
 be legal, as it can harm
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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.
Furthermore
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, these animal have their own feelings.
Linking Words
however
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However
show examples
, there could be justifications as
expermenting
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experimenting
 on sick
animals
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shouldnt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
 be a problem since there
isnt
Correct your spelling
isn't
 any
alternatives
Replace the word
alternative
,
Linking Words
nevertheless
Punctuation problem
nevertheless,
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 scientific
researches
Check wording
research
show examples
 on
animals
Use synonyms
 should be outlawed

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task response
Answer both questions more clearly. Say more about when animal tests are right or wrong, and give clear other ways.
task response
Your main view is clear, but parts of the essay change direction. Keep one clear line from start to end.
task response
Add one or two simple but clear examples that strongly support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer paragraphing. Put one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, because, and finally.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are very long. Break them into shorter sentences so the meaning is easy to follow.
task response
You answer the main topic and give your opinion.
coherence cohesion
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You try to discuss both sides before giving your final view.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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