IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is an argument
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school
education
Use synonyms
.The question is, should the state fund the university tuition for all the students, or should the high school
attendants
Check wording
students
show examples
 pay all on their own. I would like to support the idea of free
education
Use synonyms
 for every citizen who
would decide
Wrong verb form
decides
show examples
 to obtain a degree. On the one hand, the universities need significant amounts of money to maintain their work and to develop the curriculum.
This
Linking Words
 is the cost of exceeding
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of
education
Use synonyms
 we would like to
be received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
 there.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there is no possible way to reduce the course fees unless we want our system to degrade. The high price for the knowledge can keep the students focused and engaged as long as they have to fund their own development.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the student's choice
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 high school program will be more accurate and profound, as long as money is a valuable resource.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the modern society
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 well-developed members, who would be able to perform in high-tech production, computer-related fields and so on. The barrier created by the high cost of getting a degree is pushing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological progress back. We should be strongly interested in expanding the number of people involved in the mind labour rather than
hand
Correct article usage
the hand
show examples
 labour.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 has social obligations, which require
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 care about families with low income rates, who would never
affort
Use the right word
afford
show examples
 to pay for
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 of their children. In order to decrease the number of poor, the state should encourage people to study and to have a successful career. My own professional track started when I was admitted to
state-funded
Correct article usage
a state-funded
show examples
bachelor
Check wording
bachelor's
show examples
 program, which would
be
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 impossible to
be paid
Wrong verb form
pay for
show examples
 with the
only
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
use of my
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 earnings. In conclusion, I believe that free university
education
Use synonyms
 should be available
for all
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
population
Correct word choice
entire population
show examples
 of the world.
This
Linking Words
 is the key
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 making a sustainable future for all humans, where every person will have the same amount of resources and knowledge.

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task response
For task response: Your answer is clear, and you give your view from the start. To get a higher score, explain your main ideas more fully and more directly.
task response
For task response: Some ideas are good, but a few parts go away from the main topic. The essay should talk about university fees, not high school education.
task response
For task response: Your personal example helps, but it is short. Add one more clear and real example to make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The essay has a clear 4-part shape with introduction, 2 body parts, and conclusion. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Use linking words more carefully. Some links are fine, but a few sentences feel hard to follow because the idea change is not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are not fully clear, so the reader has to guess your meaning. Try shorter sentences and one main idea in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Main points are present, but support is sometimes thin. Add a bit more detail after each main point.
task response
For task response: You answer the question and clearly say that you support free university education.
task response
For task response: You include reasons about society, poor families, and jobs, which are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear beginning and ending.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Paragraphing is clear, and the two sides are easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • University tuition
  • Public good
  • Economic growth
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Merit-based scholarships
  • Need-based grants
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Educational equity
  • Income-contingent loans
  • Graduate tax
  • Financial aid
  • Student loans
  • Subsidize
  • Taxpayer funding
  • Underappreciation
  • Workforce development
  • Access to education
  • Higher learning institutions
  • Government expenditure
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