IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some cities people are choosing cars instead of bicycles, while in other cities riding bikes is replacing cars. Why is this the case? Which development do you think is better?

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The growing popularity of
usage
Replace the word
the use
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 vs
bicycles
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 sparked a significant debate in recent years
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 some
cities
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 prefer to
use
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 over
bicycles
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in other
Use synonyms
cities
Add a comma
cities,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are choosing
bikes
Use synonyms
 over
cars
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
 I will discuss both the cases and will
also
Linking Words
explian
Correct your spelling
explain
 why I think that we should
use
Use synonyms
bikes
Use synonyms
 over
cars
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is important to understand
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why
people
Use synonyms
 in some
cities
Use synonyms
 prefer
cars
Use synonyms
 over
bicycles
Use synonyms
- there can be many reasons for
this
Linking Words
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 one of the main
adavantage
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of
cars
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 that we can travel from point A to point B in very
less
Correct determiner usage
little
show examples
 time
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
 busy
world
Punctuation problem
world,
show examples
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 try to save their time and prefer
cars
Use synonyms
 over
bicycles
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 some
Use synonyms
cities
Punctuation problem
cities,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 choose
bikes
Use synonyms
 over
cars
Use synonyms
- there can
also
Linking Words
 be many reasons for
this
Linking Words
as well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, as in recent
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 traffic has become one of the major issues of some
cities
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 to avoid
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 a significant
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
are prefering
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
bikes
Use synonyms
 over
Use synonyms
cars
Punctuation problem
cars,
show examples
 as they can travel a little faster than
stucking
Wrong verb form
being stuck
show examples
 in traffic for hours.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my personal
opionion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, everyone should
use
Use synonyms
bikes
Use synonyms
 over
cars
Use synonyms
 as environmental pollution is increasing and one of the main
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 is the
emmison
Correct your spelling
emission
 of gases from
cars
Use synonyms
, if
Punctuation problem
. If
show examples
 we want to
safe
Verb problem
save
show examples
 our
environment
Punctuation problem
environment,
show examples
 we should be using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bicycles
Use synonyms
 more than
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and only
be using the
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 for longer road trips.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why cities change, but your view on which is better needs one more clear reason.
task response
Use one clear idea in each body paragraph, then explain it well.
task response
Add one simple example for each main point. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good. Now make links between ideas smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and hard to follow. Split them into shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words like first, next, however, and as a result in the right place.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your main opinion is clear: bikes are better than cars.
coherence and cohesion
You use a basic essay shape with an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sprawling urban areas
  • infrastructure
  • carbon footprints
  • dedicated bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • compact urban design
  • sustainable
  • pollution
  • traffic congestion
  • livable
  • physical activity
  • reducing stress levels
  • alleviated
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