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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the consumption of fast food per person, in grams, in britain Between 1970 and 1990.

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The line chart compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of persons who consumed in
Britain
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1900 to 1995. It is evident that the
number
Use synonyms
 of consumers
liked
Correct pronoun usage
who liked
show examples
pizza
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
While
Fix capitalization
while
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 consumers in
Britain
Use synonyms
 was the lowest in the given year. In terms of
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
, in the year 1970 ,
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 consumers accounted for 100 in
Britain
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
 was
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 decrease
280
Change preposition
of 280
show examples
 in 1975. The figure for 1980,
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 downfall 70 in
Britain
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
While,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
In 1970, the persons consumed
Use synonyms
pizza only 80 in
Correct word order
only 80 pizzas
show examples
Britain
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of persons consumed 100
Use synonyms
pizza
Fix the agreement mistake
pizzas
show examples
 in 1975 in
Britain
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. And,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 1980,
in
Check wording
the number of pizzas
show examples
pizza
Use synonyms
 rose increase in 150 in 1980. Regarding the remaining years. The
number
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 of consumer decrease more
then
Linking Words
 20
fish
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 and
chips
Use synonyms
 form 1980 to 1985,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 was
also
Linking Words
 stable over the five year .between 1980
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 1985, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
pizza
Use synonyms
 an dramatic increased
300
Change preposition
by 300
show examples
.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 products
surprising
Verb problem
are surprising
show examples
 for
increased
Replace the word
an increase of
 more
about
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 500 in 1990 in
Britain
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, britain, pizza, fish, chips with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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