These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relavant exampls from your own knowlegde or experience.

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In recent times, exploring various nations has become more convenient for several individuals during their vacations than previously.
This
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essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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development, including relevant examples and personal experience. There are plenty of benefits
for
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to
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this
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improvement. The technological advancements in the present provide useful information
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such
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, such
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as advertisements
or
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,
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videos
and
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, and
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photographs on social media.
This
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could attract them to visit new places.
Moreover
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, the cost of travelling is cheaper
which
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, which
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can encourage more people to
travel
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.
Firstly
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, going to other countries could be
unforgettable
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an unforgettable
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experiences
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experience
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for visitors.
This
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allows individuals to experience foreign cultures.
For example
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, many people visit Japan because it is a famous country well-known for sushi and elegant traditional clothes called kimono.
Secondly
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, students have opportunities to take part in better education or exchange programs,
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this
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which
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can improve their skills
,
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apply
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and make them more independent.
Finally
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, international
travel
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is becoming faster
,
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apply
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and more accessible, allowing people to visit relatives abroad frequently.
Although
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international
travel
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is more comfortable, there are some drawbacks
of
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to
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this
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development.
For instance
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,
this
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can lead to overcrowding in tourist destinations. Another major issue is air pollution
due to
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increased air
travel
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.
However
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, governments can address these issues by implementing better tourism management and promoting sustainable
travel
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to reduce environmental impact
,
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apply
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and overcrowding. In conclusion,
although
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there are some drawbacks
such
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as air pollution
,
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and
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overcrowded areas,
but
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apply
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I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as it is beneficial for both countries and individuals.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear at the start. Say early that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one more clear example for the bad side, not only air pollution and crowding.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some parts feel like a list of points.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with commas and sentence breaks, because some long sentences are hard to follow.
task response
You answer both sides and give a clear final opinion.
task response
You include relevant examples like Japan, study programs, and family visits.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, body, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow a logical order from good points to bad points to your opinion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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