IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

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In most countries, Parents are considering
to self educate
Wrong verb form
self-educating
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of sending their
children
Use synonyms
 to
schools
Check wording
school
show examples
. But unfortunately, the kids studying at
home
Use synonyms
 lack
on
Change preposition
apply
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certain skills
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 confidence and socialisation. On
this
Linking Words
topic
Add a comma
topic,
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 we will discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of
Use synonyms
home schooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
. The advantage of studying at
home
Use synonyms
 is getting a chance to spend quality time with your parents. Nowadays, the adults and the youngsters
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hardly get to see each other except on weekends
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 both have a busy schedule. Schooling at
home
Use synonyms
 allows them to have a better family time and enough time to know each other. The kids having better understanding with
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 parents prefer sharing their issues with the family
instead
Linking Words
 of sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
them with strangers or keeping with themselves.
This
Linking Words
 positively leads to
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
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 their
youngters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 well so that if
he is
Fix the agreement mistake
they are
show examples
 going through some
hardship
Punctuation problem
hardship,
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 the folks help
him
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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 get through problems.  The disadvantages of
self education
Correct your spelling
self-education
 are
insufficiant
Correct your spelling
insufficient
 confidence and socialisation. In the
schools
Add a comma
schools,
show examples
 the students get educated and gain knowledge
as well as
Linking Words
 social skills.
Home
Use synonyms
 schooling can lead to a negative change in behaviour of the
children
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 the
envirnment
Correct your spelling
environment
 is totally different at
home
Use synonyms
 as compared to
schools
Check wording
school
show examples
. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
home schooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
 is helpful in different ways. But sending
children
Use synonyms
 to school will be more beneficial as it allows them to learn things practically.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. You should say if the good points are more than the bad points, and keep this view clear in the whole essay.
task response
Add one more clear idea for the good side and one more clear idea for the bad side. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Use examples that are more specific and real. For example, say what skill a child can learn at school that is hard to learn at home.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, explanation, example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, however, because, for example, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Keep sentences shorter and make sure each sentence has one clear point.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This gives your essay a clear basic shape.
task response
You discuss both the good side and the bad side of home education, so you address the topic.
task response
You use examples such as family time, confidence, and social life. These ideas are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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