IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some argue that saving
money
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for everyone , even for young
people
Use synonyms
 . I totally
disagreewith
Correct your spelling
disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because there is
risk
Correct article usage
a risk
show examples
 of
inflation
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 need to live now
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
Use synonyms
People
Check wording
People's
show examples
  
money
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 might be worth nearly
noting
Use the right word
nothing
show examples
 if
inflaton
Correct your spelling
inflation
 goes up.
Inflation
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 is
general
Correct article usage
a general
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 rise in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prices ,which means
purchasing
Correct article usage
the purchasing
show examples
 power of
money
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decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
.If
people
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 save
money
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 reguralery it may help to their
future
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation
Use synonyms
 goes
up
Punctuation problem
up,
show examples
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 will
worth
Verb problem
be worth
show examples
 noting.That means it is too risky to save
money
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 without understanding what will
going to be
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Kazakhstan around
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 $100
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people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 could buy food for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 in modern
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life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can survive only 1 week with
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 , which means there
been
Verb problem
has been
show examples
 a huge
inflation
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
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 can not control their
life
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they do not know what will happen tomorow so it is better
live
Verb problem
to live
show examples
 in the moment. Some
people
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 will be dead by
tomorow
Correct your spelling
tomorrow
 morning, many of them
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 their dream
life
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 because they saved
money
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 to live better in
future
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.
People
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are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
need to enjoy the moment , live their best
life
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of saving
money
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 for
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future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
 that might not be.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend was saving
money
Use synonyms
 for
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 in
future
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 . He worked a lot with a few rest and saved more than $5000
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 he passed away cause of cancer
in his
Change preposition
at the age of
show examples
 18. That means his
money
Use synonyms
 meant
noting
Use the right word
nothing
show examples
 because he is not here. In conclusion, I 
I
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
believe
people
Use synonyms
 should not save
money
Use synonyms
 for their
future
Use synonyms
 because
inflation
Use synonyms
 might rise significantly and  there is a risk of not
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 alive in
future
Use synonyms

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task response
Write your main idea in a more clear way in the first line.
task response
Explain why you disagree in a deeper way. Your ideas are clear, but they need more full support.
task response
Use examples that are clear and general. The car example is strong, but the first example needs more careful wording.
coherence and cohesion
Put a clear topic sentence at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'because', and 'so'.
coherence and cohesion
Some parts repeat the same idea. Try to keep one main point in each part.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You use two main reasons to support your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow most of the time.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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