Today, many people spend less and less time in their homes. What are the reasons and what are the effects on indivi duals and society?

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this

Linking Words

era,

people

Use synonyms

spend more time away from their family

due to

Linking Words

the competitive world and increased tendency to new technologies,

therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons for

this

Linking Words

problem and how it

affecting to the

Wrong verb form

affects

show examples

both individuals and society.

To begin

Linking Words

, there are

couple

Correct article usage

a couple

show examples

reasons

Change preposition

of reasons

show examples

Correct word choice

why

show examples

people

Use synonyms

spend less time with their family.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the competitive world is a main reason to

create

Verb problem

keep

show examples

people

Use synonyms

busy with their work.

Along with

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

competition, needs and achievements automatically

comes

Correct subject-verb agreement

come

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their lives.

As a result

Linking Words

, they have to work more than

ealier

Correct your spelling

earlier

to get their goals, and the

people

Use synonyms

keep get distance with their homes.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the new technologies have

lot

Correct article usage

a lot

show examples

ways

Change preposition

of ways

show examples

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

entertain just by

self

Correct pronoun usage

oneself

show examples

without

others

Check wording

others'

show examples

collaboration.

For instance

Linking Words

social

Fix capitalization

Social

show examples

media and other streaming applications are the leading sources to entertain

people

Use synonyms

induvidually

Correct your spelling

individually

As a consequence

Linking Words

, the younger generation

embrace

Correct subject-verb agreement

embraces

show examples

this

Linking Words

trend very willingly, and

this

Linking Words

makes them spend more time for outer world.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

problem may affect in a bad way

to both induviduals and the society,

Punctuation problem

show examples

Being distance with their families, they

going

Verb problem

are going

show examples

loses

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

the best moments of their family gatherings. As a induvidual, they

becomes

Correct subject-verb agreement

become

show examples

a different person

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

who

not

Verb problem

does not

show examples

treating

Wrong verb form

treat

show examples

and respecting to own family members. As an example,

father

Correct article usage

a father

show examples

who

working

Wrong verb form

works

show examples

even

Change preposition

show examples

night, he will miss his kids and wife,

cosequently

Correct your spelling

consequently

, his kids may

diminishing

Wrong verb form

diminish their

show examples

love

Change preposition

for

show examples

him.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the society

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

people

Use synonyms

with

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

selfish and poor thoughts ,

thus

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

would be helpless to

other

Replace the word

others

and tend to just treat themselves. In conclusion, making

own

Correct determiner usage

one's own

show examples

targets to

competitive

Replace the word

compete

with others and

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

unnecessarily into social media are create

people

Use synonyms

distance with

Correct word choice

and

show examples

their loved ones.

shagsmansion

May 21, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more fully. You gave reasons and effects, but some ideas are short.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer main ideas in each body part. Start each part with one direct point.

task response

Add one more clear example for society. This will make your ideas stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with easy words like first, also, as a result, and in conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Check that each sentence is easy to follow. Some parts are hard to understand now.

task response

You answered both questions in the task.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.

task response

You used an example about a father and his family.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

285 words

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Today, many people spend less and less time in their homes. What are the reasons and what are the effects on indivi duals and society?

Some people think that it is worth researching different minerals in space. Others, however, disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.