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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

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Usage of mobile
phones
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 as a technological device has become a trend in recent years. Some
people
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 think that
this
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 could reduce real-human interactions. In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I completely agree with
this
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 view and suppose that the
excussive
Correct your spelling
excessive
use
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 of
phones
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 may be one of the main reasons for a decrease in real-time relations.
Firstly
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, individuals often
use
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 via moblie
phones
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 for
call ups
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calls
. Calls are a quick
moment
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way
show examples
 of
chats
Replace the word
communicating
 that populations
use
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 to communicate wherever they are and at any time with their friends or family.
As a result
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,
people
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 won't meet up.
For example
Linking Words
, rather than taking the transportation or wasting time to get to a place,
people
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use
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 mobile
phones
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 to video chat or call , comfortably and effortlessly.
Secondly
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, devices like mobile
phones
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provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 entertainment for individuals,
such
Linking Words
 as completely free websites for movies and video games.
For instance
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,
people
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 would take advantage of that and spend time alone at home rather than going to the
theater
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theatre
show examples
 with friends. Which
decreaes
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decreases
 real-life interactions and
as a result
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,
people
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 lose
interacting
Replace the word
interaction
 skills.
To conclude
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,
gudgets
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gadgets
 truly made
humans
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human
show examples
 lives easier, but the
overdose
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overuse
show examples
use
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 of
phones
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 is the main
purpose
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reason
show examples
 for the downfall of present relations.

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coherence cohesion
Write each main idea in a clear way. One paragraph should have one main point only.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion in a correct way.
task achievement
Give more support for your ideas. Explain why phone use cuts real social time.
task achievement
Add one more clear and real example to make your answer stronger.
task achievement
Check grammar and word form because some errors make your ideas less clear.
task achievement
You answer the question clearly and you agree from the start.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You use examples about calls, video chat, movies, and games.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • mobile phones
  • social interaction
  • communication
  • connection
  • texting
  • calling
  • meeting
  • friends
  • social media
  • face-to-face
  • personal bonds
  • weaken
  • engaging
  • environment
  • less inclined
  • meaningful
  • reliance
  • settings
  • individuals
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