IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Private modes of
transport
Use synonyms
 have seen an exponential boom in the
last
Linking Words
 few decades. A large number of population prefers using cars over using public
transport
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 cars are a convenient and faster way to get to your destination, the cons most definitely outweigh the pros. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will talk about how alternative forms of
transport
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged.
Body
In
this
Linking Words
 modern age, access to private
transport
Use synonyms
 has become very easy.
This
Linking Words
 sector of
transport
Use synonyms
 has seen substantial growth and is becoming more
human centric
Correct your spelling
human-centric
 day by day. But in many countries,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of private
transport
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 has resulted into negligence of public
transport
Use synonyms
. It is undeniable that encouraging
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 could resolve a plethora of city problems like traffic, road congestions and could ultimately reduce the commute times for
people
Use synonyms
. But
this
Linking Words
 can only be done if the public
transport
Use synonyms
 in question is efficient and modern. The masses will be encouraged to
use
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 trams, trains and buses if they are efficient and on schedule. Building the right urban infrastructure not only creates a better and
well connected
Correct your spelling
well-connected
 city but
also
Linking Words
 pushes
people
Use synonyms
 to rely on alternative
mode
Check wording
modes
show examples
 of
transport
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
To summarise my argument, it is highly important
we
Correct word choice
that we
show examples
 encourage
people
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 to
use
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 public
transport
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, provided the amenities are well developed for
people
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 to
use
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task. You talk well about public transport, but you do not talk enough about international laws to control car use and ownership.
task response
Make your position more clear from the start. Say if you fully agree, partly agree, or disagree, and keep this view all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two clear examples. For example, name a city or a type of law, and show how it can help.
coherence and cohesion
Use a fuller essay plan: introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly. Some sentences jump fast from one point to another. Use simple linking words like first, also, for example, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main point more. One body paragraph is not enough for this topic, so the support feels a bit thin.
task response
Your main idea is clear: public transport should be encouraged.
task response
You stay on the general topic of cars and other transport.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow, and the order is mostly logical.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance on
  • regulate
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • public health
  • sustainable development
  • alternative forms of transport
  • car ownership
  • balancing benefits and drawbacks
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