IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newaspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
This
Linking Words
 cutting-edge technological era has brought everything online, even
newspapers
Use synonyms
 at
free of
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
 cost, and one day, these will
get disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappear
show examples
. I strongly agree with the statement, and
related-ideas
Punctuation problem
related ideas
show examples
 will be
captivated
Correct your spelling
captured
 in the forthcoming paragraphs
along with
Linking Words
 the conclusion
at the end
Linking Words
.
Body · 1
There are tremendous reasons behind the disappearance of printed
newspapers
Use synonyms
 in the upcoming days, and the foremost one is associated with its contribution to global-warming impact because, to prepare
newspapers
Use synonyms
, deforestation is done, which directly influences the earth's atmosphere.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have adopted the nature of eco-friendliness;
as a result
Linking Words
, they have started using their high-tech gadgets to read
newspapers
Use synonyms
. To cite an example, in the
USA
Punctuation problem
USA,
show examples
 where many of the
people
Use synonyms
 who belong to affluent families have smartphones,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are conscious about the impact of printing
newspapers
Use synonyms
 on the environment.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they use e-
newspapers
Use synonyms
 at no cost in order to stay up-to-date.
Body · 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, these days, technological devices have become cheaper as compared to the previous era, and these machines are
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 now
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
within
show examples
 the
approach
Check wording
reach
show examples
 of even poor
people
Use synonyms
;
therefore
Linking Words
,
e-newpapers
Correct your spelling
e-newspapers
 are, nowadays, in the hands of
such
Linking Words
 individuals, which will make it possible that printed
newspapers
Use synonyms
 will
get disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappear
show examples
 in future.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India, where most of the public
belong
Correct subject-verb agreement
belongs
show examples
 to poor families, but these days, even stall vendors have smartphones, and they use these in their local language to read
newspapers
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, e-
newspapers
Use synonyms
 will be dominant in the near future.
Conclusion
In conclusion, even though e-
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are the future of the world, the adverse consequences of using screens to read
newspapers
Use synonyms
 cannot be neglected.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should avoid using screens, which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 negative effects on their mental and physical health.

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task response
Your answer is clear, but it does not talk enough about books. The topic asks about newspapers and books, so you should write about both.
task response
Your opinion is mostly clear because you say you strongly agree. But the conclusion gives a mixed idea when you say people should avoid screens. This makes your position less clear.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant, especially the points about the environment and cheap phones. But you need to explain them in a more direct and simple way.
task response
Your examples help your ideas, but some feel too general. Try to give one clear and specific example for each main point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good basic shape: introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is used, like 'Secondly', 'Therefore', and 'For instance'. This is good, but sometimes the ideas feel forced or not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of word choice and grammar. Shorter and clearer sentences will improve flow.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, which is good. But the conclusion should match your opinion more closely.
task response
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
task response
You give two main reasons to support your view.
task response
You include examples from the USA and India, which adds support to your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, so it is easy to see the structure.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words to connect ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • future
  • buy
  • printed
  • newspapers
  • books
  • read
  • online
  • paying
  • extent
  • agree
  • disagree
  • technology
  • convenient
  • access
  • articles
  • platforms
  • free
  • discourage
  • value
  • enjoy
  • feel
  • hands
  • prefer
  • reading
  • distractions
  • community
  • important
  • available
  • support
  • business
  • content
  • art
  • special
  • editions
  • appreciated
  • digital
  • format
  • aesthetic
  • collectible
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